Authenticity

Clearing & Healing, Chaos & Creativity

The clearing away of the old to make way for the new has definitely been happening for me……on both the home and heart front…. (amidst all that is happening in our world.)

Last week, I traversed a powerhouse series of emotional healing experiences. Talk about doing some deep inner healing and clearing work, lifetimes worth in fact. Seriously, lifetimes worth.

I’m honestly still assimilating it all.   I could feel deep deep layers moving through me and knew to seek out some assistance. That led to a profound bodywork session and a cascade of multilayered connections, emotional clearings and greater awareness for me ~ before, during and after that session.. Those insights and that energy are still assimilating… My soul definitely took the lead to show me what I needed.  There was so much that I’d been juggling for so very long. For the first time in my life, I allowed it to fully drop… I let go…. Inner constriction from trying to protect loved ones had even become an unknown hernia in my body. During my healing session, I suddenly felt as if I’d swallowed a heavy rock. The pain in my upper abdomen was suddenly acute. When that happened, my modern-day shaman soul friends and energy-healing colleagues focused in on that area.  They physically and energetically helped release the energy in my body as I emotionally and physically surrendered it.  Together, we actually unraveled and shifted the hernia within the final minutes of my hour session. That part was a briefly, acutely painful process but incredibly purposeful. My body is without any pain in that area, and now my body is starting to give me a knowing little ‘tell’ right there whenever I begin to take on the emotional energy of someone else.  I’ll definitely continue being aware and attuned to this. So yeah, last week had some very….very…deep healing and clearing.

This week provided another type of clearing process for me to move through.  My “cellular” phone and computer both began having issues. I had to shift things around and eventually seek out tech support. My iCloud back ups weren’t working properly. My phone was powering off randomly, and both devices were completely full of photos. I had to go through a clearing and ordering process to get them both working properly again. Now, after several days of archiving thousands of photos and spontaneously organizing numerous documents  from years of writing, I can honestly see the benefits of why my mobile phone went wonky and my computer hard drive began flashing me incessant “full” signs… Those tech glitches were practical and energetic prompts for me to have to go through this other clearing, organizing and honing process on a practical and creative front.

Both me and my creative tools have needed some clearing and reorganizing in this first month of this new year. The fine tuning continues there. (wink, wink)

I recognize that this recent creative reorganization process has allowed me to see all the photographic and written material that I’d already created in recent years, along with all the relationships and experiences I am blessed to have co-created.

It’s all together been one of those ‘life reviews’ while living.  Now, I have an affirming sense of “Yes…I’ve been doing THIS all along…..” I have been on my own unique path and building (inner and outer) foundations for what is to come…even when I wasn’t feeling certain that I was doing anything.

AHhhhhhh…. CHAOS is part of the CREATIVE process
….and as we breathe through those moments, clear the heaviness, do our inner work, practice trust, believe in our process, continue creating and keep working at it, we do come into the eventual streamlining times of realizations arising and creations made manifest..
Chaos & Creativity….. Clearing the old and Making way for the new….This is certainly a year for all of these energies….In my own little ah-ha moment here, I feel as if I am having a tiny validating peak behind creation’s current for the moment. Perspective on my own lil’ life is giving me a renewed faith in the entire process of life. Here’s to THAT!!
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Soulful Scatological Awareness

My modus operandi in life is to continually focus my lens (be it camera or personal perspective) toward what can be appreciated.IMG_8951

Today, I am going to appreciate that I’ve managed to deal with a lot of shit. AND, when I say shit, I mean it literally….
(as well as emotionally, physically, mentally, empathically, psychically, soulfully etc.)   We ALL have. The shit’s getting real! And…’the shit’ is about BEING REAL.

There’s a lot of soul awareness happening in this scatological humouring of life here.

Honestly, it’s been a crappy few weeks in several ways.
We’ve all been feeling that, both personally and globally. We are all dealing with our personal and collective shit…. Some of it is even spewing close to home in various ways.

Here at my home, I really have honestly been dealing with actual “shit.” The parallels just now began to make me laugh with awareness. I’ve been cleaning up seemingly endless, and continual, dog poop for twelve plus days now. I can actually begin to laugh at life’s stinky straightforward ‘in your face’ message.

I get it. It’s time to deal with our shit!!!

For this woman born in the Chinese Year of the Dog, I’m feeling like my own two dogs are giving me that message loud, clear and full-on smelly messy. On 11/11, my daschund/chihuahua mix, my soul pup Kizmet, had just been pronounced fully healthy and healed from her frightening ordeal after inadvertently ingesting rat poison weeks earlier. Then the day after being given this clean bill of health, my inquisitive dog’s phenomenal olfactory acuity led her to another ‘not so great’ tasty treat. I kid you not, the morning immediately after being cleared of that month-long un-fun scary adventure, she got into my husband’s partially zipped canvas work bag to feast on an entire quart-size Ziploc bag of freshly made elk meat jerky. My hubby let me know about it and warned me to keep an eye on her. I thought she’d processed it swiftly with the one enormous blowout she had later that evening. I was wrong. After a week of constant diarrhea, Kizzie was finally clear of her anal adventures. I breathed a sigh of relief….literally. That relief lasted just one day. THEN….our other tinier dog began her own version of those same rear-end adventures. I’m guessing she ate a few pyracantha berries off a bush in the backyard (even while being closely monitored by we humans.) Ugh… I’m at a loss to know what’s up. I just know that my sweet Yorkie, Misty, woke me in bed five days ago by messing everywhere – in the bed with me. Yeah…. YUCK! Disgusting pretty much describes it. And now, I’ve been washing sheets, pillows, towels, cloths, floors, rugs and doggie beds for days straight. Today, I’ll take this one into the veterinarian to get checked out. Hopefully, she is nearing the end of her own genuine “shit” storm.

PHEW!

And…while all this “shit” has been pervading our home, I’ve been moving through clearing more old ‘shit’ from my psyche. I’ve been bravely and clearly witnessing old emotional patterns and dynamics coming up within myself and with many people in my family and circles of friendship. Compassion reigns but there’s still shit to deal with…

Yeah… seriously, I am claiming success in dealing with shit right now. Giving myself a genuine inner Amen To THAT!!

Offering the same full-fledged HiGH Five to each and everyONE of you that are courageously owning who you truly are and dealing with the sometimes stinky ‘shit storms’ that ensue when you do. Believe me, it might feel and smell bad for a time and yet ‘in the end’ it feels SO incredibly clean and clear to be real, healthy and genuinely authentically ourselves. I feel the next level of that coming ON full throttle for me now. Inner ‘Thumbs up’ for myself there!

By the way, those of us who are dedicated to being aware, conscious and ‘beautifully messily’ divinely human all know that we’ve got to take full responsibility for our lives. That means recognizing and processing our own shit while being compassionate with ourselves (and others) and simultaneously loving ourselves into our unique humble magnificence. Sometimes, amidst all that, our best teachers and healers are our loving animal companions.

An energy healer mentor once shared with me that animals are such profound, compassionate beings and healers that they will “take on” the excess energies of humans in order to balance any extremes of energy around them. It is a natural role for them, one of protection, healing, love and balancing. It was an epiphany for me at the time.

That awareness just came to me again today…. Hopefully, if my two sweet soul pups did take on some of my emotional clearing energy the past two weeks, then they have cleared it through their own systems now. Let’s hope that “shit” is done.

And now… after enough years of diving deep to clear my own emotional shit and doing my own inner work, I know that the filthy stuff, be it dog poop or inner crap, truly will not last forever…..

It feels good to remember that. “This too shall pass….” (and sometimes it does have to go through the intestines to do so. LOL!)

A Little Sunday Morning Buzz ~ Hummingbird JOY

It is a lovely Sunday morning as I’m enjoying my solitude and freedom to be. I went into our backyard to savor the outdoor beauty before the Mojave Desert summer heat magnifies… Sitting to begin a blog post about recent angelic-like experiences of grace, I was graced by a joyful friend, our sweet resident hummingbird ‘Buzz.’

He flew over to me again and again, then perched upon the branch of my patio lemon tree just two yards away. His radiant purple head turning to and fro as he watched me and settled into his spot. I was happily looking for images to accompany the article that I ‘thought’ I was writing this morning…. And Buzz began singing out with that ultra-high pitched expression unique to these ethereal feathered beings…. He talked and sang with full joy and presence. He called my attention to him and my own beingness joined his. I was immersed in the shared peaceful, joyful, abundant moment and talked to him with gratitude and happiness. He was completely basking in life, so was I. Tears gently cascaded down my cheeks… What a big little gift!

Buzz, in his joyful hummingbird way, reminded me of so very much this morning. JOY ~ it is abSOULutely my inherent natural state of being, when I allow it to fully flow. I’m known for being effervescent, bubbly, energetic and full of big love. I truly do love sprinkling joy and opening hearts. Many of my dearest friends and my family refer to my hummingbird essence. It was precious to feel that magical communing with my totem and my loyal feathery friend today…

Buzz has been a joyful constant presence around our home for years, coming right up to each of us at various times and even flying into our house once. (His hummingbird family members have flown right through the door and into our home at times too.) Buzz is definitely part of our family and enjoys making his presence known around the homestead.

He had my mother–in-law rolling with laughter on two different memorable occasions. One Christmas morning, I went to the back of our property to welcome her down to open gifts. Walking toward her I held an open water bottle, Buzz zoomed by me suddenly right next to my head. Startled, I threw my hands up in the air… Up went the water.. Down went the water… and splashed all over me. I got baptized by a joyful hummingbird on Christmas morning. My husband’s mom had wished for a video recording of it. She couldn’t stop laughing. After the momentary shock, I was laughing uncontrollably too. It was symbolic, hilarious and unforgettable. She commented that Buzz came so fast and so close that she thought he was going to get me right in the head… That too was significant at the time..

The second occasion where Buzz made a big impression was weeks ago in late spring. My husband was out in the backyard enjoying a morning coffee chat with his mom. Buzz came over as he often does to drink out of the feeder there on the table inches from her. On his way, he paused over my hubby’s coffee cup and relieved himself. Belly laughs ensued as my guy insisted he couldn’t believe the hummingbird had just taken a dump in his coffee… His mom was gaffawing… She couldn’t wait to tell me about it and laughed uproariously all over again when she did…

Yep, JOY…. sassiness….sprite-like effervescence, persistence, friendliness, family and far more… that is our Buzz…. and that is me. I so appreciate the way our animal companions come to us with their lessons of nature and our own nature… Now mind you, I don’t plan to poo in my hubby’s coffee anytime soon, but I will tell you that Buzz and I both are all about reminding ourselves and others to have fun, be light, look for the joy, bring laughter, savor the delicious beauty and radiate your bright colorful authentic selves.

I love that kind of BuZzzzzzzzz…..
Brilliant Buzz