Courage

Clearing & Healing, Chaos & Creativity

The clearing away of the old to make way for the new has definitely been happening for me……on both the home and heart front…. (amidst all that is happening in our world.)

Last week, I traversed a powerhouse series of emotional healing experiences. Talk about doing some deep inner healing and clearing work, lifetimes worth in fact. Seriously, lifetimes worth.

I’m honestly still assimilating it all.   I could feel deep deep layers moving through me and knew to seek out some assistance. That led to a profound bodywork session and a cascade of multilayered connections, emotional clearings and greater awareness for me ~ before, during and after that session.. Those insights and that energy are still assimilating… My soul definitely took the lead to show me what I needed.  There was so much that I’d been juggling for so very long. For the first time in my life, I allowed it to fully drop… I let go…. Inner constriction from trying to protect loved ones had even become an unknown hernia in my body. During my healing session, I suddenly felt as if I’d swallowed a heavy rock. The pain in my upper abdomen was suddenly acute. When that happened, my modern-day shaman soul friends and energy-healing colleagues focused in on that area.  They physically and energetically helped release the energy in my body as I emotionally and physically surrendered it.  Together, we actually unraveled and shifted the hernia within the final minutes of my hour session. That part was a briefly, acutely painful process but incredibly purposeful. My body is without any pain in that area, and now my body is starting to give me a knowing little ‘tell’ right there whenever I begin to take on the emotional energy of someone else.  I’ll definitely continue being aware and attuned to this. So yeah, last week had some very….very…deep healing and clearing.

This week provided another type of clearing process for me to move through.  My “cellular” phone and computer both began having issues. I had to shift things around and eventually seek out tech support. My iCloud back ups weren’t working properly. My phone was powering off randomly, and both devices were completely full of photos. I had to go through a clearing and ordering process to get them both working properly again. Now, after several days of archiving thousands of photos and spontaneously organizing numerous documents  from years of writing, I can honestly see the benefits of why my mobile phone went wonky and my computer hard drive began flashing me incessant “full” signs… Those tech glitches were practical and energetic prompts for me to have to go through this other clearing, organizing and honing process on a practical and creative front.

Both me and my creative tools have needed some clearing and reorganizing in this first month of this new year. The fine tuning continues there. (wink, wink)

I recognize that this recent creative reorganization process has allowed me to see all the photographic and written material that I’d already created in recent years, along with all the relationships and experiences I am blessed to have co-created.

It’s all together been one of those ‘life reviews’ while living.  Now, I have an affirming sense of “Yes…I’ve been doing THIS all along…..” I have been on my own unique path and building (inner and outer) foundations for what is to come…even when I wasn’t feeling certain that I was doing anything.

AHhhhhhh…. CHAOS is part of the CREATIVE process
….and as we breathe through those moments, clear the heaviness, do our inner work, practice trust, believe in our process, continue creating and keep working at it, we do come into the eventual streamlining times of realizations arising and creations made manifest..
Chaos & Creativity….. Clearing the old and Making way for the new….This is certainly a year for all of these energies….In my own little ah-ha moment here, I feel as if I am having a tiny validating peak behind creation’s current for the moment. Perspective on my own lil’ life is giving me a renewed faith in the entire process of life. Here’s to THAT!!

Today, I honor it all

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.

Soulful Scatological Awareness

My modus operandi in life is to continually focus my lens (be it camera or personal perspective) toward what can be appreciated.IMG_8951

Today, I am going to appreciate that I’ve managed to deal with a lot of shit. AND, when I say shit, I mean it literally….
(as well as emotionally, physically, mentally, empathically, psychically, soulfully etc.)   We ALL have. The shit’s getting real! And…’the shit’ is about BEING REAL.

There’s a lot of soul awareness happening in this scatological humouring of life here.

Honestly, it’s been a crappy few weeks in several ways.
We’ve all been feeling that, both personally and globally. We are all dealing with our personal and collective shit…. Some of it is even spewing close to home in various ways.

Here at my home, I really have honestly been dealing with actual “shit.” The parallels just now began to make me laugh with awareness. I’ve been cleaning up seemingly endless, and continual, dog poop for twelve plus days now. I can actually begin to laugh at life’s stinky straightforward ‘in your face’ message.

I get it. It’s time to deal with our shit!!!

For this woman born in the Chinese Year of the Dog, I’m feeling like my own two dogs are giving me that message loud, clear and full-on smelly messy. On 11/11, my daschund/chihuahua mix, my soul pup Kizmet, had just been pronounced fully healthy and healed from her frightening ordeal after inadvertently ingesting rat poison weeks earlier. Then the day after being given this clean bill of health, my inquisitive dog’s phenomenal olfactory acuity led her to another ‘not so great’ tasty treat. I kid you not, the morning immediately after being cleared of that month-long un-fun scary adventure, she got into my husband’s partially zipped canvas work bag to feast on an entire quart-size Ziploc bag of freshly made elk meat jerky. My hubby let me know about it and warned me to keep an eye on her. I thought she’d processed it swiftly with the one enormous blowout she had later that evening. I was wrong. After a week of constant diarrhea, Kizzie was finally clear of her anal adventures. I breathed a sigh of relief….literally. That relief lasted just one day. THEN….our other tinier dog began her own version of those same rear-end adventures. I’m guessing she ate a few pyracantha berries off a bush in the backyard (even while being closely monitored by we humans.) Ugh… I’m at a loss to know what’s up. I just know that my sweet Yorkie, Misty, woke me in bed five days ago by messing everywhere – in the bed with me. Yeah…. YUCK! Disgusting pretty much describes it. And now, I’ve been washing sheets, pillows, towels, cloths, floors, rugs and doggie beds for days straight. Today, I’ll take this one into the veterinarian to get checked out. Hopefully, she is nearing the end of her own genuine “shit” storm.

PHEW!

And…while all this “shit” has been pervading our home, I’ve been moving through clearing more old ‘shit’ from my psyche. I’ve been bravely and clearly witnessing old emotional patterns and dynamics coming up within myself and with many people in my family and circles of friendship. Compassion reigns but there’s still shit to deal with…

Yeah… seriously, I am claiming success in dealing with shit right now. Giving myself a genuine inner Amen To THAT!!

Offering the same full-fledged HiGH Five to each and everyONE of you that are courageously owning who you truly are and dealing with the sometimes stinky ‘shit storms’ that ensue when you do. Believe me, it might feel and smell bad for a time and yet ‘in the end’ it feels SO incredibly clean and clear to be real, healthy and genuinely authentically ourselves. I feel the next level of that coming ON full throttle for me now. Inner ‘Thumbs up’ for myself there!

By the way, those of us who are dedicated to being aware, conscious and ‘beautifully messily’ divinely human all know that we’ve got to take full responsibility for our lives. That means recognizing and processing our own shit while being compassionate with ourselves (and others) and simultaneously loving ourselves into our unique humble magnificence. Sometimes, amidst all that, our best teachers and healers are our loving animal companions.

An energy healer mentor once shared with me that animals are such profound, compassionate beings and healers that they will “take on” the excess energies of humans in order to balance any extremes of energy around them. It is a natural role for them, one of protection, healing, love and balancing. It was an epiphany for me at the time.

That awareness just came to me again today…. Hopefully, if my two sweet soul pups did take on some of my emotional clearing energy the past two weeks, then they have cleared it through their own systems now. Let’s hope that “shit” is done.

And now… after enough years of diving deep to clear my own emotional shit and doing my own inner work, I know that the filthy stuff, be it dog poop or inner crap, truly will not last forever…..

It feels good to remember that. “This too shall pass….” (and sometimes it does have to go through the intestines to do so. LOL!)

I Do

I-think-I-fall-in-love-a-little-bit-with-anyone-who-shows-me-their-soul

 

I do… I truly do fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul.

My heart opens that much wider to feel even more love with every experience I have of someone dropping their guard, shedding a layer of armor, opening their heart, sharing a bit of their truth, owning their worth or claiming their Soulful expression…

Every time someone does this our world becomes a more real, genuine and beautiful place.

 So Much Love to you All 

~ DeAnne, Conscious Connections NOW

Image Source: ilovemylsi.com

 

SWEET SURRENDER

SWEET SURRENDER

This song played through me and called out to be shared on this day…. I was moved, heart and soul, to see how many people were touched by reconnecting with this musical ‘Sweet Surrender’ call by John Denver… I offered it on our Conscious Connections NOW community page. It will remain a favorite song and a precious potent experience.

I FEEL YOU

This IS the dawning of our Love. We sisters, our brothers, our Lovers, our circles, the Sacred Feminine, the Divine Masculine, the Sacred Union and the BELOVED connections are Awakening. 

This song is singing out for ALL OF US………

And of course, it happens to be 11:11 as I first shared this. Gotta love it!!

I FEEL YOU

I feel you
Your sun it shines
I feel you
Within my mind
You take me there
You take me where the kingdom comes
You take me to and lead me through
Babylon
This is the morning of our love
It’s just the dawning of our love
I feel you
Your heart it sings
I feel you
The joy it brings
Where Heaven waits
Those golden gates and back again
You take me to and lead me through
Oblivion
This is the morning of our love
It’s just the dawning of our love
I feel you
Your precious soul and I am whole
I feel you
Your rising sun, my kingdom comes
I feel you
Each move you make
I feel you
Each breath you take
Where Angel’s sing
And spread their wings, my love’s on high
You take me home
To glory’s throne by and by
This is the morning of our love
This is the dawning of our love
This is the morning of our love
It’s just the dawning of our love

~ “I Feel You” by Depeche Mode

Songwriters
ARNOLD, BRADLEY KIRK / ROBERTS, MATTHEW DARRICK / HENDERSON, CHRISTOPHER LEE / HARRELL, ROBERT TODD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTKJ_itifQg

Wow…. I love this song… I love how it arrived in my life, and I love all the layers of meaning and messages it conveys…. for us ALL. xo Wowza! ~~~~ I FEEL YOU. Love, Always, DeAnne
 

SHE IS

SHE

The Divine Feminine ONE is gentle yet fiercely loving… She is having HER way with us and through us.

She comes in many forms through wise, wondrous and wild ways…

SHE IS arising in our world through the force of love, awakening within male and female alike, balancing us from within, cleansing wounds, raising our truth to the surface, healing old outmoded patterns, eradicating distortions, insisting upon transparency, harmonizing the divine masculine and sacred feminine within, evoking a nurturing for self, others and the environment, inspiring community, bringing collaboration, teaching unity, empowering feminine values, clearing ego, enhancing our natural gifts, embracing our True Selves, embodying Spirit, imbuing Soul wisdom and transforming the world through the power of Love.

Keep Opening to Her. She gently fiercely wants to Love You. And so it IS.

Love Bomb

It's Loaded

LOVE is my weapon of CHOICE.

It IS loaded, and I am not afraid to use it. 
LOVE BOMBS AWAY ~ Today and Every Day. xo

DeAnne, Conscious Connections NOW

I’ll Stand By You

I awoke this morning with this song playing over…. and over… and over… again inside me… “I’ll Stand By You.”

I began to hear it as the Beloved singing to me, for me.
LISTEN.  Imagine the Divine conveying every word and each feeling just for You. ❤

That, that is how unconditionally we are truly loved. Wow…. I will be walking through the world today feeling that Truth more deeply. Love to you all, D*

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when…
When the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

~ The Pretenders

Stand in the Center of Your Beingness

Stand.In.Center.Your.Beingness

Many of us have enormous hearts and big visions.  We long to see people living their fullest expressions united together in genuine collaboration with mutual trust, authenticity and acceptance while working together toward common goals.  Many of us are continually taking action and creating this in our personal lives, communities and careers.  I am.

This vision begins… within.  Many of my colleagues and friends are embracing their own empowerment. They are continuously learning, teaching and modeling the “true power” that comes from withIN.  We are in a time now for discovering this power inside ourselves, each and every ONE of us.

It’s also true that ‘discernment’ is key.  Empowerment relies upon us listening to and heeding the direction of our own inner compass.  Others may not respond well to this.  They may truly prefer us unempowered.  We must empower ourselves anyway and learn to collaborate.  I had many lessons around this in 2013 and the early days of 2014 and witnessed many more. This is not always easy to navigate and those who teach it are continuously learning themselves.

One instance, one lesson in particular, was immensely challenging for me personally.  I know I will continue learning and growing from it for a very long while to come.  I also know now that even though my heart may carry a true message (of healing community, allowing forgiveness and renewing love) I must be clear and discerning about how, where and when I share it.  I did not do this entirely well in that instance and yet I trust some universal plan has unfolded.  It seems it had to happen.  I am called now from deep within to truly walk my talk now.  I bless that situation with Love and let go.  The energy of possibility and limitless love allows for so much that I cannot see.  I will trust that. I will act now from renewed integrity to myself and others.  My inner compass is recalibrated.  I appreciate what I have shared and learned. Now, life moves forward. There is no going back to what was. There is only what IS and creating what will BE.

I know I can choose and continue to choose to believe in people and the higher vision while being discerning in the day-to-day living of life. Trusting my own intelligence and inner hit of intuition is key and all of us are learning that more and more.  As I wrote in a personal post weeks ago, I have never in my life burned any bridges. Relationships flow and change with the fluid nature of Life and growth, within us and around us. May we always bless them with love. They may be only for a reason or a season or they may return to us with renewal. Let us remain open to possibility yet always true to our own knowing, our own inner compass.

We all continuously learn and grow yet must always take responsibility for the energy we bring into each moment of life and give out to others in thought, word and deed.

Love is the constant and the ultimate truth to live by. Kindness is key.  What we do to others, we do to ourselves.  It’s time to realize how truly interconnected we are. We have got to walk our talk!

One of my dearest friends, Edgy Mystic Melynnda, a trusted colleague/peer/mentor/sister/friend, said to me in early December 2013, “All that triggers separation is not from Source. Stand in the center of your Beingness.”   That phrase of wise insight simply poured through her. THAT was empowering and a powerful validation at the time. It continues to be.

Stand.In.Center.Your.Beingness

My own father once told me I was THE most nonjudgmental person he has ever known. One of my best friends agreed yet told me I had often saved all of my judgment for myself. Now, I have had a lifetime of learning about the energy of judgment.  I simply can’t inflict that type of violence on others or myself anymore.  Intentional loving choices prevail more now, from the inside out for me. There’s plenty of imperfection along with plenty of gentle strength, integrity, ever-deepening wisdom and profound love.

I will continue to renew and do this.  May we all “stand in the center of our own Beingness.”

It’s truly empowering to know we get to choose for ourselves, every moment of every day, with every thought, every word and every action. We are that powerful. We get to choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE….. over and over and over again in every moment that I can…..

I choose to create from that place and collaborate with others who make that same choice.

I CHOOSE LOVE.

Now let’s create that world we envision, one choice at a time, together.