Self Love

Today, I honor it all

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.

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This Moment

DeAnne.Being.1-11.Collage

DeAnne.Being.1-11-15.Collage

I awoke this morning to the soothing sounds of rain cascading down upon our Mojave Desert.  My morning self Reiki beneath the covers was especially deep, soothing and warm. Puppies nuzzled my face and we all emerged to greet this day of 1-11-15.

In Angel Number meanings, 1-1-1 has great significance. It is a message and a time to be especially attentive to our thoughts and feelings. We are encouraged to focus upon what it is that we truly want and desire to create in our lives and in the world. This morning feels like a perfect time for that deep soulful attention, reflection and creation.

I’m in the midst and mist of a serene, deeply inward morning on this calm, cleansing and rare rainy day here in our Mojave Desert. The rain drops are dancing on the top of the pool water, cascading from the roof and creating a beautiful symphony of soothing flowing music.

Loving life this morning and feeling at peace. It’s a blessed experience for this 1-11-15 day. Yes, peace IS more of what I wish to create within myself and within our world. As we each take responsibility for creating our own inner peace, the outer world responds and transforms in kind. I truly believe that.

So this morning and today, I will look upon these sweetly inspiring images that are meaningful to me and lovingly, intentionally focus upon what I wish to create. Like the steps in my home and backyard, I’ll remind myself to take one step and one breath at a time. There’s no rush, no need to over do….simply to BE and to follow the guidance of my own inner compass. Now is the only time I have. Everything in life has led me to this moment, and this moment will be the foundation of everything that is yet to come. I’ll sink deeply into “this moment” with PRESENCE marrying both my Being and Doing from this.

Blessings for peaceful moments to each of you and all~ways, always…. So Much Love. D*

SHE IS

SHE

The Divine Feminine ONE is gentle yet fiercely loving… She is having HER way with us and through us.

She comes in many forms through wise, wondrous and wild ways…

SHE IS arising in our world through the force of love, awakening within male and female alike, balancing us from within, cleansing wounds, raising our truth to the surface, healing old outmoded patterns, eradicating distortions, insisting upon transparency, harmonizing the divine masculine and sacred feminine within, evoking a nurturing for self, others and the environment, inspiring community, bringing collaboration, teaching unity, empowering feminine values, clearing ego, enhancing our natural gifts, embracing our True Selves, embodying Spirit, imbuing Soul wisdom and transforming the world through the power of Love.

Keep Opening to Her. She gently fiercely wants to Love You. And so it IS.

A Dream & So Much Love

SO MUCH LOVE
Perusing my writings today…. I came across this dream that I had ten days ago. It followed three weeks after a communication gone badly with a soul friend, a person who has been a catalyst in my life. I learned so much from that. I honed my core, my inner resolve, my discernment, my boundaries, my forgiveness, my strength and my authentic truth. It was painful yet purposeful.

I find I am so capable of carrying and flowing enormous love.  In life, in death, in everything, only love remains. ❤

This was a beautiful loving dream of understanding shared between each of us. Though our very human selves fumble at times, all of us, the call to truly love ourselves and share love with others is ultimate truth.  This dream felt like an acknowledgment of that. No matter what comes of this now, whether our friendship is eventually restored in fullness here or lovingly let go by each of us, Love remains. Spirits and Souls know that. I’ll trust the unfolding.

Here is my dream of my soul friend and I:

The energies flowed between us and so much was shared.

I dreamt that she was sitting at a breakfast table with me. Her hair was in soft curls and lit from behind by the morning sun. Though her eyes squinted, her presence was much softer. As I gazed at her, the sun shone golden behind her and gave a soft shadowing to her face. She wanted to connect with me. There was still a slight edge but much more softness to her.

We exchanged our views easily, and she commented that we needed a sense of closure. That was how the dream ended.

On the day of this dream I attended a funeral service for a friend’s father, and later I went with dear friends to the panel discussion “Does It Matter if Jesus Had a Wife?” at the university. Synchronicity abounded. Deep conversations were shared. I learned of a friend’s mother’s death that morning. I would learn of another mother’s death the next morning.  It is such a reminder to love while we are here.

Interestingly, my teenage daughter had had a dream just a week before of this same soul friend reuniting with me in our home. In her dream, we two were apologizing to one another, sitting on the couch talking with heartfelt focus and then “hugging it out.”

Dreams, waking moments of meaning… all of it stirs wonder.  I let go of the outcome.

There is a divine orchestration. I am honoring it, trusting and appreciating.. Behind it all is SO MUCH LOVE…..

A Broken OPEN Moment

“Let love guide you into the next broken open moment.”

One of my dearest friends, soul sisters and collaborators at Sacred Circle Retreats wrote this message this morning:

“We are all being nurtured and guided by Divine Feminine energy to expand our heart space. Let go of the idea we need protection from heartbreak…as the continual expansion cannot be contained.  Welcome the coming changes without expectations. Let love guide you into the next broken open moment. M*”

I am experiencing this today…Thank you for this message and guidance Melynnda, Edgy Mystic.

As I slowly take my time to place lights on our holiday tree and allow my entire body its healing assimilation from an extended cold, I was listening to a Super Soul Sunday episode. It features Mark Nepo. I had watched another with him yesterday, and I marveled at the timing of Jackie sharing her gorgeous Prayer post by him at Sacred Circle Retreats today. Oh how our lives so often parallel with our dearest ones. We all know that well.

Moments ago listening to Mark discuss his journey through cancer and how we have all experienced loss in some way my heart broke open even further. He said, “What opens us is never as important as what it opens….” I was awash in tears as the rain continues to cascade outside. For me, memories of the trials of cancer, the loss of bearing children and all those other seemingly overwhelming moments of challenge in my life just melted into right now. I AM HERE BEING.  I am here being more of who I always wished to be, accepting the constancy of change and flow, of uncertainty and fresh awareness, of it All. I looked down at all the colorful Christmas tree lights in my hand and felt that Christ that lies within us all. The blessed tears still flow… There are those moments when we truly bless the journey and where we are in the moment, and we feel the PRESENCE residing within and through it all. This was one of those moments.

“What opens us is never as important as what it opens….” ~ Mark Nepo

Yes, truly ~ “Let love guide you into the next broken open moment.” M*

GRACE ~ Gentle Awareness

Image,

Grace ~ Gentle Awareness

What gifts these are.

We are now giving to ourselves what we for so long had so easily given to others.
No more holding back in our lives or in our love of ourselves now. 

It IS all moving into place with Divine timing. I do Trust.

Feeling an immense flow of grace as I type “I do Trust.”  
Mmmm… feels good. A deep breath goes through me….
Breathe that IN ~ I do Trust. 

Savor the Grace. xoxo

photo: “Light Through the Leaves”
DeAnne Wolfgram 2013 ~ Sedona, AZ

Mistakes are Divine

Image

“Mistakes, issues, challenges, problems…
These just show how divine you really are.

Now that, is deeper than it may first appear.

Beethoven’s 5th, please -”
The Universe

November 13, 2013: My morning message above from the Universe (TUT.com) prompted this post today.

Day#13 ~ On this lucky day, I am thankful for recognizing the blessings of mistakes…….

I read on a blog’s comments this morning: “Admitting mistakes is divine. Regretting mistakes is destructive.”

I recognize all those dark moments of being self-destructive in my own life, mired in regret and self-judgment over perceived mistakes.  Now, I am profoundly thankful for the deeply compassionate person in me that loved herself out of that self-imposed prison.

I am actually thankful now for the blessings of that heavy time… It created far more lightness in my life, and I dare say more enlightenment also. I’m thankful too for all those who loved me through it. We all make mistakes.  It’s part of our divine humanity. It’s how we learn and grow, just like children learning to walk. We stumble, fall and get back on our feet. Keep taking those steps!

Being able to be compassionate with ourselves and others while still encouraging ourselves “to be all that we can be” ~~ well, now THAT is priceless.

Savor a few mistakes today and Be Compassionate.
Lovingly,  DeAnne, Conscious Connections NOW

Here’s a bit more:

TUT Messages: http://www.tut.com/
Beethoven’s 5th Symphony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IRMYuE1hI
image source: http://daaesha-maharukh.blogspot.com/2012/02/mistakes.html