Clearing & Healing, Chaos & Creativity

The clearing away of the old to make way for the new has definitely been happening for me……on both the home and heart front…. (amidst all that is happening in our world.)

Last week, I traversed a powerhouse series of emotional healing experiences. Talk about doing some deep inner healing and clearing work, lifetimes worth in fact. Seriously, lifetimes worth.

I’m honestly still assimilating it all.   I could feel deep deep layers moving through me and knew to seek out some assistance. That led to a profound bodywork session and a cascade of multilayered connections, emotional clearings and greater awareness for me ~ before, during and after that session.. Those insights and that energy are still assimilating… My soul definitely took the lead to show me what I needed.  There was so much that I’d been juggling for so very long. For the first time in my life, I allowed it to fully drop… I let go…. Inner constriction from trying to protect loved ones had even become an unknown hernia in my body. During my healing session, I suddenly felt as if I’d swallowed a heavy rock. The pain in my upper abdomen was suddenly acute. When that happened, my modern-day shaman soul friends and energy-healing colleagues focused in on that area.  They physically and energetically helped release the energy in my body as I emotionally and physically surrendered it.  Together, we actually unraveled and shifted the hernia within the final minutes of my hour session. That part was a briefly, acutely painful process but incredibly purposeful. My body is without any pain in that area, and now my body is starting to give me a knowing little ‘tell’ right there whenever I begin to take on the emotional energy of someone else.  I’ll definitely continue being aware and attuned to this. So yeah, last week had some very….very…deep healing and clearing.

This week provided another type of clearing process for me to move through.  My “cellular” phone and computer both began having issues. I had to shift things around and eventually seek out tech support. My iCloud back ups weren’t working properly. My phone was powering off randomly, and both devices were completely full of photos. I had to go through a clearing and ordering process to get them both working properly again. Now, after several days of archiving thousands of photos and spontaneously organizing numerous documents  from years of writing, I can honestly see the benefits of why my mobile phone went wonky and my computer hard drive began flashing me incessant “full” signs… Those tech glitches were practical and energetic prompts for me to have to go through this other clearing, organizing and honing process on a practical and creative front.

Both me and my creative tools have needed some clearing and reorganizing in this first month of this new year. The fine tuning continues there. (wink, wink)

I recognize that this recent creative reorganization process has allowed me to see all the photographic and written material that I’d already created in recent years, along with all the relationships and experiences I am blessed to have co-created.

It’s all together been one of those ‘life reviews’ while living.  Now, I have an affirming sense of “Yes…I’ve been doing THIS all along…..” I have been on my own unique path and building (inner and outer) foundations for what is to come…even when I wasn’t feeling certain that I was doing anything.

AHhhhhhh…. CHAOS is part of the CREATIVE process
….and as we breathe through those moments, clear the heaviness, do our inner work, practice trust, believe in our process, continue creating and keep working at it, we do come into the eventual streamlining times of realizations arising and creations made manifest..
Chaos & Creativity….. Clearing the old and Making way for the new….This is certainly a year for all of these energies….In my own little ah-ha moment here, I feel as if I am having a tiny validating peak behind creation’s current for the moment. Perspective on my own lil’ life is giving me a renewed faith in the entire process of life. Here’s to THAT!!
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BE YOU. BE RAW. BE REAL. BE ALIVE. BE THE LOVE

There has always been something tantalizingly soul affirming when I experience a beautiful real or raw moment expressed by someone who has often been emotionally constricted, vulnerably challenged or afraid to be seen as the depth that they are….

I came into this world attuned to this and sweetly aware to invite these moments of aliveness and truth out in others.

There’s no more fulfilling YES To LIFE moment than that. I’m grateful to have shared these soul glimpse moments, from my grandfather as a toddler, to parents, uncles and family members, to dear friends, to so many other precious children, men and women whom I have known.

BE YOU. BE RAW. BE REAL. BE ALIVE. BE THE LOVE that you uniquely are and ENLIVEN THIS WORLD!!!

I see you. I feel you, and it IS tantalizingly soul affirming….for us ALL. BE YOU.
xoxo ~ Love you, DeAnne

PS: This photograph is of the soulful little person I was with my beloved Uncle Jim in 1971. I feel blessed to have experienced special moments with each of my family members, friends and blessed souls who have crossed my path in life for a moment or much longer. Life is a magical journey. Let’s embrace it and BE THE LOVE.

Today, I honor it all

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.

Belovedness ~ The Sacred Union

 

This creation is an invitation, a remembrance and a celebration of the sacred union within ourselves, in our relationships and in our world. I created it with a deep sense of love, multi-layered awareness and humble awe. It was first shown to a small group at our collaborative Sacred Union Evening on April 30, 2016. Today, I vulnerably share it with you.

Today, May 22, 2016, I am also offering this on my own 23rd wedding anniversary in honor of the beloved love I have found within myself, in my life, and in the connection I now share with my husband, Brian. The image of the toes touching shown in this video are our actual toes as we sat together happily at the beach this year.

And now I offer the message I placed on this video creation:

This is an intimate remembrance and a timeless, soulful invitation to sacred union. It is a call to bring honoring, mutual respect and harmonious balance to the feminine and masculine energies within us and throughout our world, one person at a time.

The song “Thousand Years” had a potent, soul resonant feel to me from the very first time I heard it…. I felt it as a beloved timeless love song between souls, an invocation from the divine, a remembrance of the inner and outer balance of the divine feminine and divine masculine and a call from the Sacred to Awaken and embody this inner marriage, this sacred union, and this balance in our world…. It is a multilayered love song across time, both divine and human. It recalls an eternal invitation to enter into this union within ourselves first and foremost and to create that sacred marriage in our intimate relationships beyond our precious selves.

For me, I hear too…. the voices of Jesus and his beloved Mary Magdalene and all the avatar beloveds across time. With these lyrics, I hear them in turn and together speak to our hearts and souls… inviting, encouraging, reminding and loving us as we walk our paths each day and take each breath and each step.

May we recognize that we are the ones we have waited for….and embody this Way of Love.

“One Step Closer……”

~ This is an offering of love. May it touch your heart.
Blessings & Profound Love, Always, DeAnne

NOTE: All artistic work (photography, artwork, images and music) shared here in this video retains all ownership and copyright by the originating artists.

Music: “Thousand Years” by Christina Perri

Photography: DeAnne Wolfgram

with select photographs from France by Joss Burnel

Artwork:

* “Waterfall Ascension of Christ & Magdalene” and “Lovers at Dolphin Bay” by Sheranda Ann Kumara

* “Alchemical Wedding Sacred Marriage” by Psychedelic Goddess Art

including other images by various artists who have and retain sole ownership of their work and all copyrights

 

SACRED UNION ~ Uniting & Balancing the Divine Feminine & Divine Masculine

Zen Trio 2

On the evening of April 30th and into the early hour of May 1st 2016, a lovely group of people gathered in my home on what is the holy day of Beltane in the Celtic tradition. The timing felt significant.  The intention was to invite in the energy and awareness of the sacred union ~ the harmonious balance and union of feminine and masculine energies ~ within ourselves, in relationship and in our world.

It was an unforgettable evening of story weaving, guided meditation and simple ceremony, to invoke and honor the sacred union within ourselves and upon the planet.

This was the first collaborative event for Zen Rose Garden partners and beloveds Heather Rodriguez and David Caren and Conscious Connections NOW founder DeAnne Wolfgram. It was a significant experience for us all and for those sharing in the gathering. Personal healing shifts and notable life experiences occurred both before, during and after the gathering that were incredibly validating. The communion, vulnerable personal sharing, authenticity, heart intimacy, mutual witnessing, genuine awarenesses and ceremony shared in that small group that evening were life affirming. The ease, acceptance and presence were palpable. We undoubtedly invited the sacred union and this harmonious balance into our lives. We also invoked this on behalf of our world.

Here is the blended description of the evening’s focus co-written by Heather, David and DeAnne.

Now we know…. We are the ones that we once waited for….

Within our hearts and beneath the stars, we are invoking the Sacred Union of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in a beautiful balanced harmony…

For eons, the two have been out of sync in our world, from once dominant ancient goddess cultures through centuries of masculine driven religion and patriarchy, Now we arrive in our current Awakening Era where the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine are finding The Way to each other ~ creating a more powerful connection than anything we have yet experienced.

Our evening together acknowledges and ignites this catalyzing harmonizing synergy, individually and collectively. Come join us for this Sacred Union, energizing it within your life and throughout our world.

David and Heather will explore our shared collective reunion journey while offering personal stories of their own path to finding this balance within themselves, creating it with each other and bringing that vision to others.




These beloved partners of Zen Rose Garden will be sharing a beautiful love story of reuniting and reigniting this sacred union after so many years of sorrow, fear, and lost love. Sprinkled within their own story is a joyous tale of lost lovers reuniting after eons of travels to the furthest depths of the darkest times on a quest that finally emerges into the flames of passion and truth. The yearning of True Love sated and harmony restored. A special experiential passage will be offered to all present.

The evening promises a journey into BELOVEDNESS…..BEING part of this ancient and present day Alchemy.

May we each help anchor this balance in our world.  Blessings….

DeAnne will offer her own potent personal story as a messenger of the Sacred Union, walking in the footsteps of ancient love and awakening to the Beloved within herself and her longtime marriage. For the first time in a communion with others, she will offer both shared sacred union ceremony and energetic activation of the Beloved within.

The significance of this gathering within the energies of Beltane cannot be understated. We are recalibrating ourselves individually and invoking this much needed Union both personally and collectively. The evening will bring nourishment for ourselves and for our world. Thank you for BEING part of this ancient and present day Alchemy.

May we each help anchor this balance in our world. Blessings…..

Seeing With New Eyes

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Fascinating personal phenomenon….
 
My distance eye sight has been significantly improving with each optometrist visit over the past few years, after thirty years of being near sighted!  Today I learned that it’s 50 points better in each eye. That is substantial. Wow!!
 
My doctor said (with a smirk) that, in one respect, my eyes are returning to their baby vision. I remarked, “Hey, I’ve got Merlin eyes. They’re youthening!!” He smiled at that (and then we proceeded on with our philosophical, political and educational discussions…)

As I contemplate this morning’s experience, I see a variation on a recent theme.

SEEING WITH NEW EYES…. It’s come forward often and in a variety of ways, through various people…

My doctor and I got talking today on topics that dealt with many aspects of life that we each find discouraging, unsettling and even disturbing about our country and the times we are living in now… Hmmm… I SEE that it’s time to look upon all this with clearer vision and fresh eyes…

We can utilize our REAL-Eyes and REALIZE…how we each can play our role in creating the VISION of the world that we wish to see… FOCUSing on the new that we want to create and following through with actions that support that VISION.

 
Since the theme of SEEING WITH NEW EYES..has come up again and again, via posts, messages and ‘signs’ shared among my friends and family, I believe this is all quite spot on….
 
YES…. LET’S SEE WITH NEW EYES and CREATE OUR VISION IN THE WORLD!!

Soulful Scatological Awareness

My modus operandi in life is to continually focus my lens (be it camera or personal perspective) toward what can be appreciated.IMG_8951

Today, I am going to appreciate that I’ve managed to deal with a lot of shit. AND, when I say shit, I mean it literally….
(as well as emotionally, physically, mentally, empathically, psychically, soulfully etc.)   We ALL have. The shit’s getting real! And…’the shit’ is about BEING REAL.

There’s a lot of soul awareness happening in this scatological humouring of life here.

Honestly, it’s been a crappy few weeks in several ways.
We’ve all been feeling that, both personally and globally. We are all dealing with our personal and collective shit…. Some of it is even spewing close to home in various ways.

Here at my home, I really have honestly been dealing with actual “shit.” The parallels just now began to make me laugh with awareness. I’ve been cleaning up seemingly endless, and continual, dog poop for twelve plus days now. I can actually begin to laugh at life’s stinky straightforward ‘in your face’ message.

I get it. It’s time to deal with our shit!!!

For this woman born in the Chinese Year of the Dog, I’m feeling like my own two dogs are giving me that message loud, clear and full-on smelly messy. On 11/11, my daschund/chihuahua mix, my soul pup Kizmet, had just been pronounced fully healthy and healed from her frightening ordeal after inadvertently ingesting rat poison weeks earlier. Then the day after being given this clean bill of health, my inquisitive dog’s phenomenal olfactory acuity led her to another ‘not so great’ tasty treat. I kid you not, the morning immediately after being cleared of that month-long un-fun scary adventure, she got into my husband’s partially zipped canvas work bag to feast on an entire quart-size Ziploc bag of freshly made elk meat jerky. My hubby let me know about it and warned me to keep an eye on her. I thought she’d processed it swiftly with the one enormous blowout she had later that evening. I was wrong. After a week of constant diarrhea, Kizzie was finally clear of her anal adventures. I breathed a sigh of relief….literally. That relief lasted just one day. THEN….our other tinier dog began her own version of those same rear-end adventures. I’m guessing she ate a few pyracantha berries off a bush in the backyard (even while being closely monitored by we humans.) Ugh… I’m at a loss to know what’s up. I just know that my sweet Yorkie, Misty, woke me in bed five days ago by messing everywhere – in the bed with me. Yeah…. YUCK! Disgusting pretty much describes it. And now, I’ve been washing sheets, pillows, towels, cloths, floors, rugs and doggie beds for days straight. Today, I’ll take this one into the veterinarian to get checked out. Hopefully, she is nearing the end of her own genuine “shit” storm.

PHEW!

And…while all this “shit” has been pervading our home, I’ve been moving through clearing more old ‘shit’ from my psyche. I’ve been bravely and clearly witnessing old emotional patterns and dynamics coming up within myself and with many people in my family and circles of friendship. Compassion reigns but there’s still shit to deal with…

Yeah… seriously, I am claiming success in dealing with shit right now. Giving myself a genuine inner Amen To THAT!!

Offering the same full-fledged HiGH Five to each and everyONE of you that are courageously owning who you truly are and dealing with the sometimes stinky ‘shit storms’ that ensue when you do. Believe me, it might feel and smell bad for a time and yet ‘in the end’ it feels SO incredibly clean and clear to be real, healthy and genuinely authentically ourselves. I feel the next level of that coming ON full throttle for me now. Inner ‘Thumbs up’ for myself there!

By the way, those of us who are dedicated to being aware, conscious and ‘beautifully messily’ divinely human all know that we’ve got to take full responsibility for our lives. That means recognizing and processing our own shit while being compassionate with ourselves (and others) and simultaneously loving ourselves into our unique humble magnificence. Sometimes, amidst all that, our best teachers and healers are our loving animal companions.

An energy healer mentor once shared with me that animals are such profound, compassionate beings and healers that they will “take on” the excess energies of humans in order to balance any extremes of energy around them. It is a natural role for them, one of protection, healing, love and balancing. It was an epiphany for me at the time.

That awareness just came to me again today…. Hopefully, if my two sweet soul pups did take on some of my emotional clearing energy the past two weeks, then they have cleared it through their own systems now. Let’s hope that “shit” is done.

And now… after enough years of diving deep to clear my own emotional shit and doing my own inner work, I know that the filthy stuff, be it dog poop or inner crap, truly will not last forever…..

It feels good to remember that. “This too shall pass….” (and sometimes it does have to go through the intestines to do so. LOL!)