Gentle Awareness

Today, I honor it all

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.

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Giving AND Receiving

I am so very grateful to have some kind, capable people here at our home helping to care for our landscaping today and tomorrow. We are do-it-yourselfers here usually (though we simultaneously are always fostering community in our home and our lives…)

I am now recognizing those moments when our self-care and contribution includes employing others to help with tasks that would take us a very long laborious time to complete. It’s actually another form of fostering community. It allows us to engage in other areas of our lives while receiving help and contributing to someone else’s abundance. As two eldest children, we’ve been accustomed to hard work, dedication and doing things ourselves – from building this home to landscaping the acre and on…..and on…

Today, I am appreciating RECEIVING help and KNOWING that while my husband enjoys a day in nature (which he dearly loves) neither he nor I are having to prune, lift, dig, fix irrigation lines, uproot or haul. We’re not being lazy. We’re actually contributing. I’m not sure I’d completely thought of it that way before this moment.

APPRECIATING that perspective and feeling deeply thankful for all the ways we humans give and receive…..

Ooh-oo child ~ Things are gonna get easier

Here’s a Musical Message for Today. ❤

This spontaneously began singing in me yesterday out of nowhere, right after I’d had my own challenging feelings of major worry arise… It is not a song I ever think of, so I immediately felt the calm of my own higher wisdom and precious unseen comforting.. ❤ It was very much like angelic music straight to my heart in that moment. May it comfort you too. D*

Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get be brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna be easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get be brighter

Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll get it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter
Right now, right now
(You just wait and see how things are gonna be)

~The Five Stairsteps – Ooh Child


SWEET SURRENDER

SWEET SURRENDER

This song played through me and called out to be shared on this day…. I was moved, heart and soul, to see how many people were touched by reconnecting with this musical ‘Sweet Surrender’ call by John Denver… I offered it on our Conscious Connections NOW community page. It will remain a favorite song and a precious potent experience.

Savoring each step

Royal Road ~ St. Baume, France (C) DeAnne Wolfgram 2012

 

Savoring each step we take upon our path…..
Every moment, Everything and EveryONE truly IS SACRED.

Blessings All

photograph: “The Royal Road to Magdalene’s Cavern Cathedral” by DeAnne Wolfgram May 2012

She rose with the dawn

Image

She rose with the dawn
sprinkling rose water on her unbound hair
she slipped outdoors on bare feet
well, who would wear shoes
while bare-naked anyway.
That moment when night pauses
and day appears
when the earth is holding the in-breath
before breathing out a new day upon us
it called to her, that pause.
The veil is thin between the worlds
and if you are careful and still
you will see them for a moment
those who have moved on
those who walk at your side
those who guide and protect
She wanted that, this morning
not just the knowing she carries with her
but the seeing of those who came before
those who surround her
upholding her every movement
her reaching out to those who come to her.
The day would require energies from her
many would sit at her feet
claiming the grace and beauty
that flows so boundlessly from her.
For now, she stood naked under the sky
as their form took shape in that
early morning light.
We are with you, they whispered
We love and cherish you, they smiled.
As the earth released her breath
she too breathed out and
raising her hands to the sky
with hands and heart wide open
she drank in the strength that she
needed to move through
this day, this life
“I am ready” she cried out
and the light shone upon her
in blessing and power.

Joss Burnel
a Poem of DeAnne  ~ January 3, 2014

My beloved sacred friend Joss Burnel, Crowing Crone Woman of Wisdom gifted me with this gorgeous poem.  We had shared intimate conversations, hopes, dreams, longings, prayers, awareness and awakenings together with our core circle of women.  And, from just those first few days together, SHE connected to me across the seas from her home in France and honored me with this verse.

Joss, you know my heart and soul. You know that you have my deepest thanks and eternal friendship. I love you so. You are “She Who Walks in Beauty.” What a gift you are.
Namaste Beloved. Namaste _/\_ xo  Love Always, DeAnne

A Dream & So Much Love

SO MUCH LOVE
Perusing my writings today…. I came across this dream that I had ten days ago. It followed three weeks after a communication gone badly with a soul friend, a person who has been a catalyst in my life. I learned so much from that. I honed my core, my inner resolve, my discernment, my boundaries, my forgiveness, my strength and my authentic truth. It was painful yet purposeful.

I find I am so capable of carrying and flowing enormous love.  In life, in death, in everything, only love remains. ❤

This was a beautiful loving dream of understanding shared between each of us. Though our very human selves fumble at times, all of us, the call to truly love ourselves and share love with others is ultimate truth.  This dream felt like an acknowledgment of that. No matter what comes of this now, whether our friendship is eventually restored in fullness here or lovingly let go by each of us, Love remains. Spirits and Souls know that. I’ll trust the unfolding.

Here is my dream of my soul friend and I:

The energies flowed between us and so much was shared.

I dreamt that she was sitting at a breakfast table with me. Her hair was in soft curls and lit from behind by the morning sun. Though her eyes squinted, her presence was much softer. As I gazed at her, the sun shone golden behind her and gave a soft shadowing to her face. She wanted to connect with me. There was still a slight edge but much more softness to her.

We exchanged our views easily, and she commented that we needed a sense of closure. That was how the dream ended.

On the day of this dream I attended a funeral service for a friend’s father, and later I went with dear friends to the panel discussion “Does It Matter if Jesus Had a Wife?” at the university. Synchronicity abounded. Deep conversations were shared. I learned of a friend’s mother’s death that morning. I would learn of another mother’s death the next morning.  It is such a reminder to love while we are here.

Interestingly, my teenage daughter had had a dream just a week before of this same soul friend reuniting with me in our home. In her dream, we two were apologizing to one another, sitting on the couch talking with heartfelt focus and then “hugging it out.”

Dreams, waking moments of meaning… all of it stirs wonder.  I let go of the outcome.

There is a divine orchestration. I am honoring it, trusting and appreciating.. Behind it all is SO MUCH LOVE…..

Our Entire Landscape

Let us not access ourselves, or anyone else, by the low valleys, plateaus or epic mountain heights we have journeyed.

The entire landscape has value.

The entire landscape of who we are has infinite value.
Drink in all the scenery and the journey that You Are.

~ DeAnne Wolfgram
January 17, 2014

Sacred Resonance

Sacred Resonance

Savoring Sacred Resonance ~

Pause for a moment.
Let those thoughts drop away.
Breathe.  Allow.

Melt into this Moment.
Feel the Trust… 
Be The Love…
Breathe it in.

Coming home within is that simple. Truly it is…. 

It is Sacred Resonance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This deep, sacred feeling of presence filled me this morning on a rainy autumn day in the Mojave Desert.  In moments like this, stillness resides and awareness infuses; at times,  inspiration pours through…  I know that this simple verse will help me spiritually center and focus at other times in the future.  Just remembering the glow of this candle, the rain cascading outside and the feeling of presence will allow me to connect back to it once more. I am thankful for this stillness and savoring these moments of sacred resonance.

A Broken OPEN Moment

“Let love guide you into the next broken open moment.”

One of my dearest friends, soul sisters and collaborators at Sacred Circle Retreats wrote this message this morning:

“We are all being nurtured and guided by Divine Feminine energy to expand our heart space. Let go of the idea we need protection from heartbreak…as the continual expansion cannot be contained.  Welcome the coming changes without expectations. Let love guide you into the next broken open moment. M*”

I am experiencing this today…Thank you for this message and guidance Melynnda, Edgy Mystic.

As I slowly take my time to place lights on our holiday tree and allow my entire body its healing assimilation from an extended cold, I was listening to a Super Soul Sunday episode. It features Mark Nepo. I had watched another with him yesterday, and I marveled at the timing of Jackie sharing her gorgeous Prayer post by him at Sacred Circle Retreats today. Oh how our lives so often parallel with our dearest ones. We all know that well.

Moments ago listening to Mark discuss his journey through cancer and how we have all experienced loss in some way my heart broke open even further. He said, “What opens us is never as important as what it opens….” I was awash in tears as the rain continues to cascade outside. For me, memories of the trials of cancer, the loss of bearing children and all those other seemingly overwhelming moments of challenge in my life just melted into right now. I AM HERE BEING.  I am here being more of who I always wished to be, accepting the constancy of change and flow, of uncertainty and fresh awareness, of it All. I looked down at all the colorful Christmas tree lights in my hand and felt that Christ that lies within us all. The blessed tears still flow… There are those moments when we truly bless the journey and where we are in the moment, and we feel the PRESENCE residing within and through it all. This was one of those moments.

“What opens us is never as important as what it opens….” ~ Mark Nepo

Yes, truly ~ “Let love guide you into the next broken open moment.” M*