My Ankle Adventure: The Hospital

Two months ago I shared about my ankle adventure that began with a simple misstep at Tent Rocks National Monument in New Mexico on April 14, 2025 and the “extended mountain rescue operation” that got me from the top of the slot canyon and onto a helicopter that took me to the University of New Mexico trauma center for the setting of my open, dislocated, severe, trimalleolar ankle fracture. https://deannewolfgram.com/2025/05/13/my-ankle-adventure-the-rescue/

An ever-present theme of my experience was the recognition of how many caring people there truly are in this world. While awaiting rescue for almost two hours, I witnessed person after person hiking past who offered me help or concern. It honestly filled me with genuine awe and appreciation for humanity amidst my distressing situation. Throughout my rescue and in the days and weeks afterward, I had recurring moments of that awe. My ongoing ankle ‘adventure’ was filled these moments and with a variety of experiences of humanity.

After my twenty+ minute LifeGuard helicopter flight delivered me to UNM Hospital, I was triaged in the trauma center. I was grateful to discover that only a small tip of bone was extruding from the skin at inner my ankle, and thankfully the blood flow, color and pulse had immediately returned after the rescue doctors had set my ankle closer to its anatomically correct placement in the ambulance prior to the helicopter flight.

My experiences of kind humanity continued. The Lifeguard helicopter team and I were greeted with a friendly welcoming at the trauma center. In triage, a kind nurse cared for me after the ER doctor’s assessment, and she chatted with me intermittently until her shift ended.

After a while, an x-ray technician took several images of my ankle while I laid on the ER gurney. The x-ray tech was very gentle and apologized when she had to place the plate under my ankle. She then sat down at her mobile x-ray unit station while the images uploaded. I looked over at her as she reviewed the x-rays and noticed her face suddenly change as she unconsciously winced and grimaced when she saw them. I commented lightly to her saying, “Based on your expression, it must not look great.” Her wincing face had cleared then, and she warmly remarked with, “All I can say is that you are really strong!!” I thanked her and received that confirmation fully. Looking at the x-rays myself days later, I realized why she had winced. My fibula bone on the outer side of my left leg was completely severed. Looking at that made my stomach churn for a moment when I actually saw it many days later.

The day of my injury I had arrived at the trauma center a few minutes after 6pm. That was five and a half hours after I had fractured my ankle. Once my x-rays were reviewed, I was taken to a procedure room around 8pm while being introduced to each member of the orthopedic team as they wheeled me there.

As with my initial ankle setting in the ambulance, I was again given ketamine, but this time a much more significant dose so that the team could do the complete setting of my ankle. I drifted into a very altered space with the ketamine flowing through my system. In my mind’s eye, I saw fractal and geometric patterns moving, stretching and flowing into new patterns over and over again. I was aware of being in almost another dimensional reality and actually wondered if I had transported into a multiverse. It was strangely intriguing to be so aware of witnessing this unusual inner experience. Then suddenly, the patterns faded, and I could see the silhouettes of the two doctors at my upper leg and my foot. At that moment, they pulled my ankle bones into place. It was one of the most excruciating pains I’ve ever felt. My body jolted on the gurney and heard myself hollering, “OOOWWW!!! God damn it, that hurt!!” I had the sense that the orthopedic team was a bit surprised by that.

Not long after, I was talking with the nurse who stayed in the room with me. He was surprised that I was as coherent as I was so soon. I remarked to him that my husband has commented that my body processes things really fast. The nurse emphatically said, “He’s right! You were coming out of the ketamine while they were setting your ankle!!”

Once I had recuperated enough (and had my first bought of post-ketamine nauseau), the nurse helped me into a wheelchair, propped my wrapped ankle up on some pillows on the footrest and apologized to me that they didn’t have any open rooms right then so he wheeled me into the lobby waiting area in front of the emergency room desk. Near midnight, I thought I was being taken to a room when a medical technician came to the ER for me. Nope. He came to take me for an EKG in preparation for my morning surgery. Just as he wheeled me in that room, I told him I was going to be sick, and he got me a bag just in time. After the pre-op EKG was completed, I again thought I was heading to a room. Again, no… I was wheeled back to the ER lobby area just in front of the ER reception.

There I spent the entire night in a wheelchair with my newly set ankle not even propped up completely for proper blood flow. It was NOT at all ideal, but it was another experience with humanity.

And that’s exactly what I told myself as I witnessed everything that transpired in that emergency room area that night, “I’m having another experience with humanity.” They were experiences different from what I’d had with fellow hikers on the peak or the rescue team, but it was another experience nonetheless. Watching a mentally challenged man pacing up and down the halls talking loudly and even yelling to himself (while the security guard calmly stood at the ER entrance) was a bit rattling and something I’d not been so near before while in such a vulnerable state. Another new experience that night was having a gentle, yet very disheveled, homeless woman in grungy pajamas wrapped in her torn dirty blanket sit directly next to me. Again, I open heartedly thought, “I’m having another experience of humanity.” I felt for her situation and appreciated the kindness she was receiving from the hospital staff. Yet, it was a keen challenge for me as her smell was truly pungent and unlike anything I’d ever smelled before. I was thankful that my nausea had passed. I inwardly checked myself, began breathing through my mouth and sent out a silent prayer.

The experiences of humanity continued as I sat in that wheelchair for 10-12 hours. I twice caught a nurse racing by and asked her for help to the bathroom. She apologized amidst her overwhelm, and said, “The system is broken.” Never before had I witnessed it so clearly and personally. This trauma hospital that accepts all patients was truly full. There wasn’t a room for me that night. There wasn’t a room for many who waited in that ER in varying states of need.

And still…. humanity was there. People sat patiently and quietly overall. I shared some meaningful moments and conversations with a variety of people. One of note was a mother who spoke to me so warmly and was waiting for word of her adult son Jose. He eventually joined us after being evaluated, and we three talked and sat waiting. I would meet Jose again several hours later as we both awaited surgery. We greeted each other with a smile then. It’s amazing how quickly human beings can share a bond. We truly are meant to be connected to one another.

I admit that I felt quite vulnerable and alone in stretches during that 12 hours of sitting in a wheelchair in the ER without the ability to get up on my own. It was so strange to be there after all those hours of careful rescue. I guess once my ankle was set my situation wasn’t critical. This was a level one trauma hospital, and those in traumatic need deserved priority. I still wondered if this many hours of sitting in a wheelchair would affect whether I could have surgery soon. I was hoping that the swelling wasn’t worsening since my ankle wasn’t elevated above my heart. Each time I had those worries I offered a prayer or sent myself healing Reiki energy…..

It was lonely….. My family were all somewhere else. My mom, brother and stepdad had driven back up north of Taos thinking I would be in a hospital room and cared for overnight. They were sleeping at home three hours away. My beloved hubby too was sleeping a bit amidst his worry over me from our home in Nevada. I was awake much of that night and all the next morning. I texted various family and friends to give them updates and to seek moral support. I was grateful, so very grateful, for the circle of people in my life. What a loving group of humanity!

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Sometime after daybreak, the orthopedic trauma surgeon Dr. Wharton visited me where I was waiting in the ER lobby area. He explained that I would be having two surgeries. The first would be that morning. This surgery would stabilize my ankle. He would be installing an external fixator , metal pins or wires that are inserted into the bone through the skin and connected to an external frame, creating a “cage” appearance. Dr. Wharton prepared me for awakening from surgery to see this metal cage around the lower half of my left leg and ankle. I was simply thankful that my ankle would be surgically repaired; however, I was also mental fixated on whether I would be able to go on our big family Europe trip in June. That thought had come to me within minutes of breaking my ankle.

Dr. Wharton was not optimistic about the idea of me going on a trip to Europe six weeks after my ankle surgery. He emphasized that I had “really done a number on my ankle,” and that I would still be healing and in a lot of pain. His assessment certainly deflated my hopes in that moment, but I wasn’t about to give up. My mom, brother and I had begun dreaming of this ancestral pilgrimage trip together 3-5 years ago. Our family of ten had bought our cruise tickets for it one year ago. In my mind and heart, there had to be a way. As long as I took care of myself, there had to be a way. I chose to hold onto hope. My enormous store of determination had officially kicked into gear. I then set those thoughts aside and focused on mentally preparing for my first surgery.

I had another meaningful experience with humanity in the pre-op area. Several other patients were waiting in that same room. An elderly woman on the gurney next to me began speaking to me, and I was overcome with her resemblance to my beloved Grammy who had passed away at 100 in early 2018. This woman, Maria, had such similar hands and her voice sounded so much like my Grammy. My heart just melted. Maria was speaking of her late husband and sharing her worries. I reached out my hands and held hers. This is Humanity… This is what it is all about. We truly are here for each other.

The volunteer who was sitting with Maria smiled warmly at the sight of us holding hands. Then, the door opened and a familiar face smiled at me as my late night ER buddy Jose was wheeled in on the other side of me. We exchanged hellos and updates then sat quietly as we all awaited our surgeries. I paused with an awareness, one that felt truly sacred. I had Jose (Joseph) and Maria (Mary) on either side of me as I awaited this surgery that would repair my left ankle, the one I had first sprained while on a pilgrimage to Sacred France in 2012 walking in the footsteps of Mary Magdalene. I felt the significance of that and knew to be open to all that might unfold as my healing journey continued…

I was enormously grateful to move out of that ER lobby, have those special encounters and eventually head into surgery for my ankle’s repair. I was ready. My own Reiki energy was flowing, and I gratefully had an entire inner circle of healer friends, longtime besties and family who were sending me healing energy and prayers. I was in good hands and hearts…. surgically and energetically. My pre-op nurse even reassured me that I had an excellent surgeon. “I would let him operate on me!!” she emphasized smiling. That first surgery went very well, and I was welcomed awake by caring, friendly nurses.

I must have been engaging and grateful as the anesthesia wore off because they warmly and emphatically commented that I was a wonderful woman. Awwww…. They were also delighted when I asked to take a photo with them.

Once I had awakened from surgery, I was able to have one visitor at a time. My brother, stepdad and mom each took their turn visiting, hugging me and giving their love. It felt incredible to see them!! My stepdad Mike marveled at my strength and the amazing adventure we had all shared yesterday. His words hit home for me. He said, “You’re taking your weakest area and making it your strongest!” That really felt true.

Later that day, one of my besties, my dear friend of 25 years Cinzia, who I’d introduced to New Mexico in 2023 and who had since moved to Santa Fe, came by to see me. She drove the 45 minutes to visit me at the hospital in Albuquerque and beamed smiles and love my way. What a gift to have these precious people encircling me.

After visiting hours concluded, I continued to be encircled by my closest friends via text messages. The support was buoying. My hospital stay continued in the surgical recovery area. Once again, rooms at the hospital were limited so the post-surgery nursing staff took care of me through the night. I was heartbreakingly aware of a young woman in the area next to me with her dad by her side giving her reassurance and strength. She had obviously been in a severe car accident and had multiple broken bones throughout her body. Hearing them through the curtain between us deeply touched my heart. Humanity…..Life…. it’s so achingly precious. That awareness filled me and allowed me to put so much of what I was going through in perspective.

Later the next morning my beloved man arrived. He had flown in to be by my side. That’s how we get through this life together, side by side. That’s exactly where we were six weeks earlier at a Las Vegas hospital as his incredible mom suddenly made her transition. Life… it’s so precious…. Now he was by my side, as we began this next chapter together.

Brian kept me company throughout the day. He had now stepped into the role of medical contact person that I had asked my brother to fill in his absence. Love these men.

That day after my first surgery I had other special visitors and gifts. My cherished friend Molly who lives in Albuquerque and has been my dear friend for a quarter century came by to visit. She and her husband Charles were hosting Brian at their home as they have so often done for us over the years. Her card gave me a chuckle. Molly commented, “This seemed like you!” It truly did. The smiles and hugs we exchanged were heart affirming. I’m one lucky lady.

That afternoon my other New Mexico bestie came by for another visit and enjoyed seeing Brian too. After visits by the nurses and a check-in from a member of the orthopedic team, Cinzia gave me some hands-on Reiki. That was gentle and soothing to receive.

I was also surprised and joyfully delighted by a bright flowering gift from my dear friend Tallah. Her message really spoke the truth for me!

On Thursday afternoon April 17, 2025, I had my second and final successful ankle surgery at UNM Hospital. Dr. Wharton and his team installed all the internal hardware to support the healing of my three fractured bones. I did indeed feel like the Bionic Woman after I saw the x-rays days later. My husband managed through some hours of worry as my procedure started late and the orthopedic team did not update him promptly when I was out of surgery. He was grateful to join me when they wheeled me to my hospital room. We were both thankful to learn that the surgery went really well.

Unfortunately, I did have difficulty with my urinary tract cooperating while bed ridden so a foley catheter had to be installed. This actually proved beneficial when we made the eight hour drive home on Easter Sunday three days later.

I was fortunate to be offered some ‘spa time’ by my kind nurses who bathed me in bed and washed my hair the day after my second surgery. Wow did that make me feel more human again! A visit from my orthopedic team was also uplifting.

My hubby and I also had a visit from a mobile notary who brought the closing documents for our daughter’s townhouse sale. We had co-signed on that loan years back. That house was being sold and the newlyweds were moving into a brand new home of their own. Exciting! How wild that we were signing the paperwork in New Mexico from my hospital bed!

Signing those special documents was a highlight but not the most special highlight of that day. That moment was when three of my Hill cousins came to visit me bearing gifts, smiles, hugs and love. All of them live in Albuquerque and all were right there for me when I needed some loving family support. Wow! If I had to get injured and spend time in the hospital at least it was transpiring in the city of my birth where I have other precious family there to encircle me. I was so very grateful!

The next full day in the hospital had me receiving more wonderful conscientious care from the nurses, and Brian had been enjoying some quality time with our local friends when he wasn’t at the hospital. In keeping with my “Mommarazzi” nickname, I captured photos of all the special people and visitors including my dad’s eldest brother my Uncle Larry. He was in warm upbeat spirits as he was readying to take their new puppy to dog obedience training after his wonderful visit with me. All of that did my heart good and had my spirits up too.

The next morning on Easter Sunday I was more than ready to go home. I had a visit by a sharp, informative and get-things-done orthopedic nurse who arranged for my hospital discharge and managed to take photos of my x-rays on the computer monitor so that I had those to show my local Henderson, NV orthopedic doctor when I had one. She explained when I should schedule an appointment, And…. I asked her the same question I had been asking nearly every nurse, doctor and medical technician I’d met. “Do you think that I’ll be able to go on my family’s trip to Europe in June?” She emphatically and confidently said, “Yes. You will!” She nodded her head and said that yes it would take some work and mobility devices, but I would absolutely be able to go. I was elated at her solid confidence. It reaffirmed mine!

It took a while to get my discharge paperwork and medicines, but eventually the moment arrived. In the meantime, I managed to see so many of my wonderful hospital caregivers and took pictures with them. They all thoroughly enjoyed that and my exuberance.

And finally…. it was time for my hubby and I to get out of the hospital and make our eight hour drive home. Thankfully, that all went well too!

There’s no place like home. The moment we arrived my loving feline goddess Isis was right there at my side. She would be my devoted healing partner and moral support like this for many weeks…. My hubby would be my devoted caregiver. What a gift! I’m so very grateful, so very lucky.

My Ankle Adventure: The Rescue

As I share this, my beautiful family hike at Tent Rocks National Monument on sacred Cochiti Pueblo lands in New Mexico was four weeks ago today, on April 14, 2025.  I actually still remember it as a wonderful and special day, despite the unforgettable adventure that followed not long after coming down from the outlook. My one simple misstep (on an ankle I’ve previously sprained) and the crack of my left ankle bones are definitely still vivid for me. The extraordinary adventure that followed and the outpouring of compassion and help from so many people are even more vivid. I’ll remember that with awe and deep gratitude for the rest of my days.

As I laid there awaiting rescue and giving my ankle Reiki for an hour and forty minutes, I still managed to take this scenic photo of what I was gazing at that entire time. 

Those hoodoos felt like they were standing over me and guarding me. It gave me the sense of being encircled and held as I laid upon these ancient tribal lands. In my inner prayers, I even called out to the ancestors of this land and my own ancestors for support. I immediately sensed a circle of souls all around me and had a vision of light beings encircled. Almost before I could share that, my mom was sensing that invisible circle as well.

My mom also kindly took the photo of me lying where my misstep happened as we waited for the rescue team to hike their way up to where I was.  My fracture had happened fairly near the peak of the Slot Canyon Trail hike at Tent Rocks National Monument. That location was out of cell service range and my ankle fracture was severe. There was no way I could hike or hobble back through the canyon.

My brother who was hiking a bit ahead of me reached me first after I cried out in anguish, “Ahhhhh… I just broke my ankle!!!” Kneeling over me, he knew the break was beyond the Eagle Scout training of his younger years. We locked eyes, and I said, “Nathan, what are we going to do?”

Thankfully……. the answer to that would unfold with the help of many people we had never met.

Incredulously, the hiker right behind us was a physical therapist who immediately offered aid, did a visual assessment of my injury and helped us strategize. My brother and step dad quickly headed back down the 1.5 mile trail through the canyon to get help while the PT and his wife hiked up to the peak outlook to attempt to reach emergency services by phone.

While I continued holding my ankle and giving it Reiki, my mom sat beside me. Yes, I was verbalizing all kinds of questions without answers and simultaneously apologizing for this happening (because our family has being planning a first time summer Europe trip together for over a year.) The idea of this misstep and ankle break sabotaging that shared experience brought a tear to my eye before any sense of physical pain. Yet, that concern was set aside as our focus returned to the moment and to trusting that everything would be alright. We both managed to remark that at least this had happened in a beautiful place where we were surrounded by rock guardians upon sacred lands. Time was suspended, and we had an interesting sense of calm amidst the emergency. Surrendering to the moment does that…

And….. it was only minutes until the first of thirty to forty other hikers came by us, in what became an ongoing cascade of caring, concerned helpful people. Not one person looked away. Everyone seemed to genuinely, compassionately feel for me. We could feel the very real outpouring of their hearts. Someone in every hiking group reached out to us. One hiker after another stopped to ask, “Do you need help? Is there anything I can do? Do you need food? Do you need water?” Again and again, it was truly amazing. The goodness in humanity was palpable. We were experiencing it.

I now have a visual memory seared in my brain of my mom with her big beautiful blue eyes widening into a divinely doe-eyed gaze and her mouth gaping open in awe as she commented on the outpouring of kindness. She remarked that she hadn’t talked to that many people in a day in a long time… probably since my daughter’s wedding.

Incredulously, that unified feeling of open hearts and bonding with people was similar; yet, these were all people that we had never met.

Gratefully, a married hiking couple came by and the wife offered me pain medication. It was welcomed! It probably saved me a lot of discomfort over the next sixty+ minutes.

And…. thankfully, our fellow hiker the PT had managed to get an emergency call out via satellite on his phone from the trail outlook.

That call had alerted the first responders before my brother and stepdad had gotten down the trail far enough to get service. I’m sure that call shaved a precious extra hour that it might have taken for the rescuers to arrive.

The first rescue team member to reach me was the park ranger that we had chatted with as we arrived to the trail entrance. His name was Scotty. We knew that because my stepdad makes friends with everyone. When the young park ranger got to my side I said, “Scotty, can you beam me up?” He smiled warmly and responded, “I would if I could!”

I soon learned that I was in a location that couldn’t be reached by the helicopter rescue like I’d been hoping for as I’d laid there for almost two hours since that moment I’d stepped down, heard my ankle bones loudly crack and saw my foot skewed at an unnatural angle.

When the other rescuers arrived, it was a combined team of a dozen first responders most from the Cochiti Fire Department. All were there to help transport me, including the Cochiti Fire Chief Andrew Chavez who was the team lead and paramedic. He got my IV set and pain medicine dispensed before they wrapped my dislocated broken ankle with its compound (open) fracture and placed me in the Stokes basket. Luckily, I could not see the small protruding bone on the inner side of my left foot thanks to my thick colorful hiking sock.

Then…. the next significant portion of my ankle adventure began as the rescue team carried me through the Slot Canyon Trail. My family followed right behind us.

My stepdad devotedly took on the role of photo documentarian taking pictures and videos of the impressive coordinations it took to get me out of the canyon.

Throughout the mountain rescue, I regularly thanked all the Cochiti fire crew, medics and rescue volunteers as they navigated the uneven, rocky and often tight slot canyon terrain all while carrying me.

I only cried out a few times for them to watch out for my left foot when it got unintentionally bumped during the two hour rescue hike.

In that well coordinated effort, the rescue team carried me in the basket the 1.5 miles through the slot canyon then transported me on a UTV to an ambulance that was in the trail parking lot before two doctors on a UNM Hospital helicopter Lifeguard crew arrived to do the initial setting of my ankle. 

At the time those doctors arrived, they weren’t able to find a distal pulse in my foot. That was 4 hours and 40 minutes after I had broken my ankle and cause for concern.  Thankfully, once they aligned my foot the full color and pulse returned. Also thankfully, I had been given medication for pain at intervals as the rescuers carefully carried me through the Slot Canyon Trail. Once my foot was initially anatomically aligned (OUCH!!!), the ambulance drove me and the doctors twenty minutes to where the helicopter had landed.

This unplanned adventure gave me my first ride in a helicopter which took me to Albuquerque’s UNM Hospital. Luckily, despite the Ketamine, I managed to look out and see the Rio Grande River below me and groggily appreciate a little bit of the view.

Upon arrival to UNM Hospital (the state’s only Level 1 trauma center as well as academic medical center), my helicopter medical crew and I were warmly greeted. I guess my doctor duo are kind of celebrities at the hospital. The Lifeguard crew is pictured on a calendar in the trauma receiving area. Well, you know what I had to do then…. Of course, I asked to have my photo taken with my “two” helicopter doctors and med-crew. I told them that I would have to show the picture to my retired fire captain husband, my daughter and my paramedic son-in-law (who is a redhead) because several members of the helicopter crew were redheaded guys too including the pilot (who stayed with the copter.) And so, here’s that special photo!

I saw (weeks later) that the Cochiti Fire Department, UNM Lifeguard and UNM Hospital had all shared posts about my “extended mountain rescue operation” on their Facebook pages referring to me privately as “a patient.”

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My ankle adventures continued with more stories of memorable moments with humanity at UNM Hospital and many special medical caregivers. Thankfully, all turned out very well. I am one grateful, lucky lady and proved my strength to myself for sure! I’m also claiming the title of Bionic Woman now. LOL!

My first night at the hospital and the week that followed are a story for another time. I’m grateful for successful surgeries, skilled doctors, incredible nurses, the dedicated medical staff and all those who cared for me, visited me and supported me there at UNM Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My family and close friends were all honestly amazing. This wasn’t the brother and sister ‘siblings trip’ that my brother and I had envisioned, but it certainly was memorable! Thankfully my hubby joined the adventure there and drove me home on Easter Sunday.

Two weeks after the hardware was installed to fully repair the trimalleolar fracture of my ankle in New Mexico, I had my first local orthopedic appointment in Henderson, Nevada on May 1, 2025. My new, highly recommended, orthopedic foot and ankle specialist, Dr. Sibel complimented my UNM surgeon saying that my ankle was realigned well, surgically clean, healing nicely and he had done a good job!!

That first local orthopedic visit was full of good news including my doctor’s approval to go on our family’s long awaited Europe trip this summer!!! I’ll be mostly wheeling around instead of walking, but I’m thrilled that I can go! I am grateful too for the dear friends who will stay at our house while we are traveling. So Happy!

Now, four weeks since that fateful misstep, my ankle is continuing to heal very well, and I’ve been off all forms of pain medication for a full week. Admittedly, I have had markedly less sleep the past week and a half, but the piercing pains are gone and the pins and needles nerve pains have lessened significantly. I’m sure my sleep will improve (even if sleeping with the boot isn’t very comfortable.) Overall, I’ve made great strides (so to speak) and my progress just keeps continuing.

I’m getting around well on a knee scooter loaned to me by a dear friend and have been overwhelmed by the kindness and visits of so many amazing people that I love.

I am truly thankful for a multitude of blessings and for all those who have cared for me, helped, given support, visited, loaned medical equipment, cooked us food, and sent well wishes, gifts, flowers, prayers and healing energy. It has truly enhanced my recovery and my spirits. I love you friends and family.

Those who are reading this, if you are open to it, I would be truly thankful for any ongoing good mojo, healing vibes, loving prayers, Reiki, golden light, restorative energy and clear positive thoughts that you want to send to me. I am healing really well, and I know the love and energy already sent has played a significant part in that.

And now, I am sharing a BIG heartfelt thanks to my hubby who has been the conscientious devoted caregiver that we all knew he would be. 

❤️ We are certainly bonding in new ways through this. 🤪🥰😁😘


This adventure was definitely NOT on my life bingo card. And yet, there are many gifts I can share from it already.  I will in time. I am recognizing what a significant transformation I am experiencing. I am allowing that process to unfold…….

Honoring Mom Irene

Irene Judd Wolfgram ~ A Life Well Lived

On Saturday, March 1, 2025, Irene Judd Wolfgram departed this life with her son and daughter-in-law by her side. She was recuperating from a recent pacemaker surgery when she passed suddenly yet peacefully at Spring Valley Hospital in Las Vegas just minutes after laughing and joking with them. Her final breath in this life was taken in room 328. Her first breath was taken on 3/28 in 1944.

Irene was beloved by her family, friends and fellow church members and community volunteers.

Irene’s work ethic, commitment and dedication were present in everything she did including her decades of work at GMAC Mortgage and her happy retirement years volunteering at her church and in the community through Saint Rose Hospitals.

In keeping with her devotion to her lifelong Christian faith, Irene lived life with a servant’s heart always helping others. She humbly recognized the gift that God granted her as a listener and shared it daily. She listened as a loyal friend and trusted confidante to all those who regularly stopped at her door to talk and get a treat for their doggies. Irene will be dearly missed by her many friends at the Horizon Senior Apartments and her fellow parishioners at Victory Road Church of Christ.

Her family feels her loss as profoundly as they have always felt her love. In that, there was a ready and never-ending supply. Irene was a rock and anchor in the family and in her friendship circle. She will be dearly missed; yet, the seeds of love she has always planted will continuously grow.

Irene was a joyful gardener in this life planting both seeds of love and endless growing plants and flowers around her ~ from her years growing up in Kentucky, to her decades living in Iowa and then to her retirement years in Henderson, Nevada. She was forever happy to be planting and tending to growing things, both plants, people and pets. Irene’s gardens always flourished and animals of all kinds came to her readily, especially her favorite hummingbird friends.

All the people in her life benefited from her steadying presence, her plucky spirit, her feisty humor, her keen mind, her wisdom, her constant help and her heartfelt depth of love.

That love will continue to encircle us all. We are wrapped in it forever just like the warm, cozy blankets that she continuously knitted, crocheted, sewed and quilted throughout her life.

Irene lived her eighty years with faith, devotion, love, courage, resilience, wisdom and humor. Those gifts continue within all whose lives she so generously touched.

The family is honoring Irene’s life privately and yet we all encourage you to celebrate her in whatever way calls to your hearts. We know she has a place in so many of them.

Cusco: A Clearing & Homecoming

June 18, 2023 ~ Our Hidden Inca Tour: Peru & Bolivia guided tour began with an early morning bus ride to the airport and our flight from Lima to Cusco.

Our personal experience of the tour began with some very strange happenings. After breakfast, we discovered that we were locked out of our room with all of our luggage still inside. New keys, a visit by the manager and a review by the maintenance person didn’t resolve the problem. We were beginning to get stressed and nervous as our tour group was to be loading onto the bus for the airport in minutes.

Meanwhile, my intestinal tract was feeling off. We didn’t just need our luggage in the room. I needed a bathroom. While Brian learned that our lock mechanism on our room needed a new battery and was resolving that with the hotel staff, I made a dash for the restroom in the hotel lobby.

Brian made it downstairs with our luggage just as everyone began loading onto the bus. I was still in the restroom with the intestinal issues. Then, as I went to leave the bathroom, I couldn’t get the door open. OMG! I was locked in the restroom. After a minute or two of trial and error, I finally got the door open and we sprinted out to the bus.

For the first time in Brian’s life, he was the last one to arrive somewhere. We were the final two people to get on the bus.

Our flight to Cusco and arrival there had more happenings and a sacred experience as well….

We were relieved to be on our flight and excited for the journey ahead.

Brian settled into the flight and took a nap. I had a little more adventurous trip. As I gazed out the window with our plane cascading over the Andes Mountains, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and this deep soulful feeling. Somewhere inside of me I heard the words, “I’m coming home…. I’m coming home…” In that instant, tears began to stream from my eyes.

Not long afterward, I felt a strong surge of energy and an accompanying sense of nausea. Luckily, the woman seated next to me had asked for sick bags for her teenage son who is prone to motion sickness. Thinking that preparedness was a good idea, I had asked for two as well. Thank goodness I did.

For the first time in my life and out of the clear blue nowhere, I got sick into that bag on the airplane. I was so subtle about it that Brian kept on napping and didn’t notice. He only awoke when I attempted to go to the lavatory and was turned back due to turbulence as travelers were asked to take their seats.

My sickness continued as we arrived into Cusco on Day One of our Hidden Inca group tour. Once we landed, I headed straight to the restroom as Brian collected our luggage. A kind former teacher from Canada who was on our trip asked after me and kept an eye out on me in a nurturing motherly way for the rest of the day.

Once on our bus ride, I continued feeling unwell. By that point, my hubby was keeping a keen loving eye on me too. Astonishingly, once again, I grabbed for another sick bag that I had tucked into my purse and emptied my stomach. Then, I learned how much my husband really does love me. He actually offered to hold my bag filled with the contents of my stomach. Yes, he is a former fire captain and advanced EMT, but still…. that is a next level kind of love offering. I thanked him and held it myself.

Once we got to the hotel, I again headed straight for the restroom after receiving our tour headphones and putting my full bag in a trash can. As I sat on the throne, I listened to the opening remarks of our group gathering that was transpiring in the hotel meeting room.

Thankfully, I soon felt well enough, just in time, to join our group for the sacred ceremonial opening of our Peruvian experience. Our shaman Wilco dressed head to toe in Incan priestly regalia spoke of the significance of Cusco. Our tour host and author Brien Foerster (who has been a presenter on the History Channel show “Ancient Aliens”) had told us about Wilco at the orientation and shared that Wilco is a ‘rare individual.’ He is part of an unbroken line of Incan shaman going back to the 15th century before the Spanish conquered Peru and annihilated much of the Incan and pre-Incan culture. Those Incans, who had lived, had quietly kept their wisdom alive for generations. Wilco was the latest in that line of wisdom bearers.


As I took my seat in the semi circle surrounding our tour’s shaman and the special altar he had created, I listened to Wilco speak (via translation by our tour manager Gustavo). Wilco shared with warm reverence and emphasis that “Cusco is the womb of Mother Earth. In Cusco, each of us connects our umbilical cord to the womb of the earth.”

Again, emotion welled up in me. Each of us were asked to share why we were here, in Cusco and on this trip to Peru. With tears streaming down my face, I said, “Cusco has called for a long time, and I feel like I’m coming home.” Wilco looked at me with one of those gazes that feels like someone sees right into your soul. I humbly, tenderly smiled and then listened as each person took their turn sharing.

Incredulously, the only other person to have tears arise was our tour guide Brien Foerster. He had not seemed an especially emotive person, but when he spoke of his desire to right the wrongs done to the Peruvian people by the Spanish his heart was keenly pouring out through his words. As I listened while staring at the back of his head, I took note that only he and I had cried, and he was sitting directly in front of me as my heart resounded in my chest. That connection formed a quiet, simple bond that seemed to continue though much of the Peru experience.

After our sacred opening ceremony, my loving Brian and I went to our hotel room. At first, I immediately shifted into my common resiliency mode and thought I could join the first walking tour of our trip; however, after several minutes, I realized that self care was my priority. Brian offered to stay with me in the hotel room, but I encouraged him to go on the walking tour of Cusco on behalf of both of us.

And so he did, lovingly taking photos to share with me. While he was away, I reached out to a dear friend who was right there messaging with me as I went through a poignant heart opening and energetic clearing experience.

Yes, I seemed to be in the midst of a Montezuma’s revenge sickness, or given that I was in Peru rather than Mexico maybe I should call it an Athaulpa’s revenge experience. In any case… I was genuinely sick, likely from eating a quarter size piece of lettuce with my ceviche at a local coastal restaurant the day before. Still… this truly felt like more than a food issue body clearing.

My keenly intuitive friend validated my sensing and encouraged me to ground myself by putting my bare feet on the floor. As an enormous cascade of tears poured forth, she lovingly held space from her home in Montana as I went through this experience in Cusco, Peru. We both knew this was a potent clearing on many levels. She quietly continued holding space from a distance while I went through my process on my own.

This clearing would open me up to the energies of Peru and its ancient places. I had longed to come to Peru for over two decades. Not only was my prayer answered but the land was obviously preparing me for a more authentic, genuine energetic experience. I slept for fourteen hours in our hotel room.

The next day, I would share with Wilco and Brien individually that it felt as if I had an Ayahuasca experience without taking Ayahuasca. They both understood me. Brien remarked that Cusco calls deeply to some people. Quietly he recognized my calling. By the end of our Peruvian journey, I had more sense of our gentle shaman’s understanding as well.

Qoricancha – photo via Peru Hop

My beloved husband had returned from the walking tour of Cusco as the sun set. Brian shared what he remembered of the heart of Cusco ~ Qoricancha, and the roads through the city as well as the presenters’ discussions of pre-Incan megalithic construction and Incan stone building.

My love warmly shared the photos he took for me and what he had learned from the local anthropologist, our tour guide and more. Though I hadn’t set foot in the heart of Cusco that day, my heart felt full and so very grateful. It was the beginning of a meaningful and long awaited adventure, and I am so grateful for how we shared it together



Here is one resource that discusses Qoricancha:
https://www.peruhop.com/coricancha-sun-temple/

Sacred Site of Pachacamac

On the coast of Peru 32 kilometers south of Lima lies the sacred site of Pachacamac. For two thousand years, this ancient city was an administrative and religious center and place of pilgrimage for ancient Andean cultures including the Inca. Historians have referred to Pachacamac as the “Mecca of Peru.”

“….the enormous site with its great pyramidal temples, buildings, old roads, remains of frescoes decorating the adobe walls and other interesting archaeological structures (that were erected over a time period of over 1000 years by different cultures) gives visitors an astonishing insight into the society and lifestyle of people living in the area.

….several temples, buildings and a part of the Inca road system have already been excavated while other structures wait to be discovered,

It was a major pilgrimage destination in the coastal region and attracted worshippers from all over the Inca Empire; at least until the Spanish conquest.

LimaEasy.com

The god Pachacamac was known as “the one who animates the world” and “the Maker of the Earth” for the coastal peoples. This sacred wooden statue of Pachacamac was worshipped at the site in early Lima culture.

The revered statue was situated inside a large temple complex that was built on a stepped earthen platform. This artifact of Pachacamac was a significant discovery for archaeologists. Veneration of the god Pachacamac was at a zenith when the Inca blended their culture with the early Lima culture of the time. With this spiritual tradition at its height, the Incas actually incorporated Pachacamac into their culture as well.


The image above shows an excavated road in the ancient city of Pachacamac. It is part of the original Inca Royal Road according to archaeologists and was the main street of Pachacamac. In 1533 Spanish conqueror Fernando Pisaro walked these streets looking for treasures before violently bringing an end to the longstanding reverence of Pachacamac and destroying much of the ancient Lima culture here. Thankfully, some artifacts, mummies and pieces of their sacred traditions did survive.

My husband, Brian, and I marveled at the pyramids, roads, plaza, artifacts and sacred culture of all the ancient Peruvian coastal peoples of Pachacamac.

Our tour of this special place came at the beginning of our three week Peruvian adventure. In the final days of our travels, we would learn that Pachacamac was considered the most important sacred ceremonial center of ancient Peru. That brought a significant full circle awareness to our experiences in this extraordinary country.

Resources for more on Pachacamac:

https://pachacamac.cultura.pe/

https://www.worldhistory.org/Pachacamac/

https://www.limaeasy.com/lima-guide/lima-culture-guide/huacas-adobe-pyramids/archaeological-complex-of-pachacamac#google_vignette

Sacred Summer 2023

Summer 2023 has been full of profound experiences and travel adventures for my husband and I.

It’s extraordinary to me to realize that we explored many ancient and sacred sites of Peru and Bolivia including Pachacamac, Sacsayhuaman, Ollantaytambo, Machu Picchu, the Nazca Lines, Puma Punku and Tiwanaku and then journeyed to the ancient puebloan, sacred center of Chaco Canyon in the southwestern U.S. ~ all in the same summer!

I am honestly in awe and filled with deep gratitude.

I am continuing to integrate and absorb these significant experiences as well as enjoying other small travels this summer. Usually, I would have written and shared countless photos of our adventures already. This summer’s travels have felt different for me, and I am truly taking my time with them.

In the coming weeks and possibly months, I will be offering photos and stories of these sacred places and our experiences. I look forward to sharing this with you.🌀

Thank you for joining me here, and thank you for journeying with us.

Grief & Love Persevering

How does one return to life after being visited by death?

For me, that answer has been gradually… sometimes messily then at moments abundantly or sporadically but at all times feeling that something has dramatically and inalterably changed about my life. Those who have navigated deep grief ~ over any type of loss ~ understand.

Several times, I had thought to write more fully about my journey and experiences of the past three years, but it seemed daunting, and I thought, “Later.” Now……. feels like later. So… this is my beginning Now to share some of what I could not begin to share until Later. New life is emerging in earnest now and yet it isn’t too late to share about death.

Death and grief, that tandem duo have danced through my life and the lives of those I love over the past three years.

Like everyone’s story in recent years, it began in 2020….. The shock of a global pandemic and the fear-filled collective uncertainty placed us all in the cross hairs of grief. We were shot through the heart with it, all of us. Personally, I was feeling all of that, AND it was augmented by a complete uprooting of my home and life simultaneously. My previous share “Moving Through This” speaks to that.

As I gain a wider perspective now, I see the continual and ongoing persevering that we have all been doing for years… that I have been doing for years. It seems that we have been adapting to and navigating through one traumatic event and pivotal change after another. It has been a gauntlet.

For our family, that year of 2020 concluded with our adult daughter moving out on her own in September and my husband’s mom undergoing open heart surgery in early November just a few weeks before we would complete the building of our new home. During our home building, I was still grieving the loss of the prior beloved house we had built together and just left after 15 years. Now I was also grieving the loss of having my daughter at home, as all empty nest moms know too well.

Life was in flux everywhere it seemed. Still, my resilient self was at the forefront. On November 2nd, I sat in the hospital waiting room as my mother-in-law was in surgery while her son diligently worked on crucial final details of our home build. Days before Thanksgiving 2020 we brought mom home to the rental house we were in, and the day after Thanksgiving we moved her into our newly built home to stay with us until she was recuperated enough to live on her own at her apartment. Home building and coping with an empty nest amidst a global pandemic while helping our mom through her health crisis was A LOT…

We had no idea how much we would get used to “a lot.” And as I offer that, I am certain that ALL OF US can say that!! We had no idea how much we would get used to “a lot.” Everyone I know has been through so very much in recent years. It really has just been “a lot!!!”

Being in our new home was a genuine blessing, but I couldn’t use the common phrase of “settling in.” There wasn’t a settled feeling about life then and wouldn’t be for a long while. Death and grief would knock on our door… again… and again.. and again……………….

Three months and three weeks after moving into our new home, my dad died suddenly, wrenching my world apart on the inside. One year, two months and a day after that, my husband’s father also passed. The impact would be with him everyday. Their nearly daily phone calls had come to an end. Together, my husband and I held continual space for one another’s deep grief.

In between the bookend deaths of our fathers, my last maternal uncle made his transition less than six months after my dad. Two months and a day after my uncle’s passing, his lifelong friend, his brother’s best friend and my much loved honorary uncle died as well. Two months and a day after my honorary uncle passed, his sister-in-law, my lifelong cheerleader and my kindred spirit, honorary aunt also made her transition.

My dad’s sudden death was a seismic, high magnitude earthquake in my life (and in the life of my brother and so many family and friends.) That earthquake was followed by aftershocks galore as it seemed one death after another came. It felt like dad had opened the door and one loved one after another had followed him, until my husband’s dad closed it gently behind him (for a while.)

Grief IS all that love we want to give to the one we’ve lost. Grief IS immense love with no place to go. Where there is grief, there has been great love. Grief, then, truly is love in a different expression.

After all, “It can’t all be sorrow can it?….. What is grief, if not love persevering?”

(Vision from the WandaVision television show.)

I could go on… and on… about the impacts of all these deaths and my journey through the grieving process. If you’re a friend of mine on Facebook, you’ve experienced that of me already. Still, this is not anything to be minimized or glossed over.

Coping with grief, death, profound losses of any kind and dramatic sudden change are all important and significant. Our society as a whole is ill-equipped to do so well, and we are ALL greatly in need of genuine care and support in navigating the grief strewn mine-field of life that we are living through now. We all need compassion and care, for ourselves and others, as we continue to return to life day after day with so much ongoing uncertainty, grief, loss and change. And so…


May we find that what has been heart breaking can be heart opening and connect us with one another anew. My belief is that it truly can. It is our shared humanity in earnest.


In time, I sense that I’ll share more of my personal journey of grief, grace and growing through it all.

For now, I simply wanted to share this glimpse of my own landscape of recent years. There has been so very much that has been meaningful and to be celebrated as well… and that even includes death’s knocks at our door. Through it all, love perseveres.

Sending you so much love.

~ DeAnne

Moving Through This….

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I wrote the words below over three years ago, in April of 2020, and never published them…

 

Thinking back to that time, we really were “moving through this”… a global pandemic, national upheaval, pervasive uncertainty and more.

At the time, I remember constantly thinking to myself “and we are moving through this.”  The moving truck was coming soon.  Our family’s move was imminent.

“Moving through this…” was symbolic of the world coping in a collective unknown, and it was our personal reality. 

 
Our family was literally and physically uprooting ourselves from our home of fifteen years during the extreme uncertainty of the first month of a global pandemic. We were moving into a rental house before starting the process of building our new home…. during a global pandemic. Phew!

 

These words I wrote then were my attempt to give some perspective to it and simultaneously reassure myself:

“So it turns out that a time of home confinement, during a global pandemic, is actually the perfect time for a family of three to finish packing up their entire home of fifteen years while simultaneously having the man of the house recovering from arm surgery…….

 
It isn’t the most calming thing though.
 
There are plenty of unknowns to navigate as the close of our home sale and move approaches, but we are definitely collaborating as a family and persevering through moments of all kinds of moods and modes.
 
One conversation at a time, one box at a time, one to-do-list item at a time, one decision at a time…. and we are moving through it together and soon moving on…
 
We are gonna look back on this time and be awed by how we each navigated our lives.  I’m not just talking about our family trio here. I’m talking about every single one of us.
 
We each have our stories of perseverance right now.”
 
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And in reading my own words three years later…. I realize how true they were and continue to be.

Today ~ an Epiphany

I awoke this morning recognizing how odd this day felt.

Having the first anniversary of the attack on our nation’s Capitol coinciding with the holy day of The Epiphany (Three Kings Day or the day of the Magi) just seemed so strange and confusingly symbolic on a deep energetic collective level.

In some Christian faiths, this is a day to honor the divinity and humanity of Jesus. In most, it is the day that three wise men acknowledged the Christ child.

With America currently in its first Pluto return since the very founding of our country, it is certainly a profound time of facing our shadows, recognizing our lights and reassessing ourselves and our nation.

So….. I lit a candle and allowed its flame to burn all throughout this day.

🕯

Epiphany is the final day of the twelve days of Christmas.

I feel a call to a deeply collective healing and awakening in the alignment of events and energies present on January 6th now.

Today marks one of the earliest and longest celebrated Christian holidays.

Today is the day of the Epiphany (that honors the divinity and the humanity in the Christ child and thus the Christ consciousness in us all) and this is the day that honors a Trinity of wise ones who journeyed far to meet and acknowledge that child 

🌟

 and that Truth within us All. 

🙏🏼
🕯
✨

From early this morning, throughout the day and into this night…. this candle has burned bright amidst the recollections of great darkness.


Its flame still burns as I write these words with the night sky enveloping and the stars twinkling from afar.

May the coinciding of these historic events be meaningful in actualizing ‘a more perfect union’ within each of our hearts, across this country and throughout our world.

Epiphany also means a moment of sudden revelation or insight.

On this day in America, now known to have had an incite of violence, may we now experience an insight of awareness and an epiphany of divine and human recognition within ourselves and one another.

May this day become an even truer day of an “Epiphany” in our hearts and in our modern times…



With So Much Love, DeAnne

For more understanding of America’s Pluto return, feel free to read this January 2021 article by Divine Harmony, https://divineharmony.com/astrology-blog/usa-pluto-return-transformation-of-a-nation-2022/

WE The People are U.S.

Being a first time Election Day line worker at our neighborhood polling location was a wonderful and memorable experience.

The entire day went smoothly with a well run process indoors and outside. Observers even commended the voting process at our location.

Personally, I was thrilled to experience the friendly collaborations of our fellow Election Day staff as well as the appreciation and patience of the voters at our site. I got thanked so many times throughout our twelve hours assisting voters.

The community atmosphere was inspiring!

Even our line worker moments of having to remind people to distance, wear masks and take off political hats or campaign masks went well and were received respectfully.

My own vision and intention to hold space for an entire day of unified honoring of our democratic process truly did come true. The staffers at our location each expressed similar appreciation and so many voters did too. 💗🙏🏼

This experience was inspiring.

WE The People are a Community.

I witnessed it in person all day!

Thank you each for voting! #WeThePeopleAreTheUnitedStates