Awareness

WE ….. are Home

Those beautiful moments infused with inspired alignment are ones I cherish.
I just experienced one of them…… img_9784

Sitting by the fire on this rainy Sunday morning, with my loving husband drifting into a relaxed nap, I am deep in appreciative contemplation.   I, like so many today, am pondering the momentous experience of participating in the historic Women’s March.

As an incredible flood of moments fill my heart and images around the world fill my mind, these words sang out across our “Home.” They came from the stereo of the young woman who is my daughter. With passion and pure spirit, I heard her clear voice singing along while in the shower. Precious chills and a knowing thankfulness move through me…..

We, my family and so many in our circles of connection, are home…. in our hearts and in a unity of spirit. We know we’re not alone. My faith in so much possibility and in humanity is pulsing today.

This morning, witnessing the outpouring of love in action and expression around the world…. I sing this too:
“Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home”
Sung by Phillip Phillips
Written by Andrew Pearson, Greg Holden
• Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Cypmp
Watch Phillip Phillips original video of “Home” via this link:

Today, I honor it all

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.

Soulful Scatological Awareness

My modus operandi in life is to continually focus my lens (be it camera or personal perspective) toward what can be appreciated.IMG_8951

Today, I am going to appreciate that I’ve managed to deal with a lot of shit. AND, when I say shit, I mean it literally….
(as well as emotionally, physically, mentally, empathically, psychically, soulfully etc.)   We ALL have. The shit’s getting real! And…’the shit’ is about BEING REAL.

There’s a lot of soul awareness happening in this scatological humouring of life here.

Honestly, it’s been a crappy few weeks in several ways.
We’ve all been feeling that, both personally and globally. We are all dealing with our personal and collective shit…. Some of it is even spewing close to home in various ways.

Here at my home, I really have honestly been dealing with actual “shit.” The parallels just now began to make me laugh with awareness. I’ve been cleaning up seemingly endless, and continual, dog poop for twelve plus days now. I can actually begin to laugh at life’s stinky straightforward ‘in your face’ message.

I get it. It’s time to deal with our shit!!!

For this woman born in the Chinese Year of the Dog, I’m feeling like my own two dogs are giving me that message loud, clear and full-on smelly messy. On 11/11, my daschund/chihuahua mix, my soul pup Kizmet, had just been pronounced fully healthy and healed from her frightening ordeal after inadvertently ingesting rat poison weeks earlier. Then the day after being given this clean bill of health, my inquisitive dog’s phenomenal olfactory acuity led her to another ‘not so great’ tasty treat. I kid you not, the morning immediately after being cleared of that month-long un-fun scary adventure, she got into my husband’s partially zipped canvas work bag to feast on an entire quart-size Ziploc bag of freshly made elk meat jerky. My hubby let me know about it and warned me to keep an eye on her. I thought she’d processed it swiftly with the one enormous blowout she had later that evening. I was wrong. After a week of constant diarrhea, Kizzie was finally clear of her anal adventures. I breathed a sigh of relief….literally. That relief lasted just one day. THEN….our other tinier dog began her own version of those same rear-end adventures. I’m guessing she ate a few pyracantha berries off a bush in the backyard (even while being closely monitored by we humans.) Ugh… I’m at a loss to know what’s up. I just know that my sweet Yorkie, Misty, woke me in bed five days ago by messing everywhere – in the bed with me. Yeah…. YUCK! Disgusting pretty much describes it. And now, I’ve been washing sheets, pillows, towels, cloths, floors, rugs and doggie beds for days straight. Today, I’ll take this one into the veterinarian to get checked out. Hopefully, she is nearing the end of her own genuine “shit” storm.

PHEW!

And…while all this “shit” has been pervading our home, I’ve been moving through clearing more old ‘shit’ from my psyche. I’ve been bravely and clearly witnessing old emotional patterns and dynamics coming up within myself and with many people in my family and circles of friendship. Compassion reigns but there’s still shit to deal with…

Yeah… seriously, I am claiming success in dealing with shit right now. Giving myself a genuine inner Amen To THAT!!

Offering the same full-fledged HiGH Five to each and everyONE of you that are courageously owning who you truly are and dealing with the sometimes stinky ‘shit storms’ that ensue when you do. Believe me, it might feel and smell bad for a time and yet ‘in the end’ it feels SO incredibly clean and clear to be real, healthy and genuinely authentically ourselves. I feel the next level of that coming ON full throttle for me now. Inner ‘Thumbs up’ for myself there!

By the way, those of us who are dedicated to being aware, conscious and ‘beautifully messily’ divinely human all know that we’ve got to take full responsibility for our lives. That means recognizing and processing our own shit while being compassionate with ourselves (and others) and simultaneously loving ourselves into our unique humble magnificence. Sometimes, amidst all that, our best teachers and healers are our loving animal companions.

An energy healer mentor once shared with me that animals are such profound, compassionate beings and healers that they will “take on” the excess energies of humans in order to balance any extremes of energy around them. It is a natural role for them, one of protection, healing, love and balancing. It was an epiphany for me at the time.

That awareness just came to me again today…. Hopefully, if my two sweet soul pups did take on some of my emotional clearing energy the past two weeks, then they have cleared it through their own systems now. Let’s hope that “shit” is done.

And now… after enough years of diving deep to clear my own emotional shit and doing my own inner work, I know that the filthy stuff, be it dog poop or inner crap, truly will not last forever…..

It feels good to remember that. “This too shall pass….” (and sometimes it does have to go through the intestines to do so. LOL!)

Listen

Confirmations come in all kinds of ways, including on a tea bag.  Time to listen.

For over a week, I’ve been making my way through a cold, something that I rarely experience.  I’m nearly all well, but the now ‘slightly’ sore throat has remained tenacious. It’s day eleven now.  Hmmm..  In the past few days, I had come to the personal epiphany that this sore throat was present to remind me to quiet myself, to gently allow my loquacious exuberant essence to rest and to do some deep listening ~ both to those around me and to my own inner voice.

I’ve been practicing.  Completely eliminating talking is virtually impossible for me, just ask my hubby.  However, this week+ has been a time of more awareness and assimilation.  I recognize the calm that comes with not needing to speak as much.  The energy used for that can be used for harmonizing within, for observing and for being quietly curious.   It allows more space for inner wisdom to speak and inspiration to get my attention. Those I love can feel a fuller presence and focus from me.  I recognize the gift that is to them too.  Making a little promise to myself tonight to remember the gifts inherent in this week’s experience.

There is a resonance in the balance of speaking and listening, knowing that all that needs to be said will be spoken or felt.  There is so much to hear, within and around me. It feels good to LISTEN more deeply in all these ways.

Well tonight it appears my tea bag agrees….. The message on my Yogi brand tea bag was “The greatest tool you have is to listen.”  LOL!!!!  Indeed.   O.K. I’m listening.