Category: Honoring My Own Journey

My Ankle Adventure: The Rescue

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

As I share this, my beautiful family hike at Tent Rocks National Monument on sacred Cochiti Pueblo lands in New Mexico was four weeks ago today, on April 14, 2025.  I actually still remember it as a wonderful and special day, despite the unforgettable adventure that followed not long after coming down from the outlook. My one simple misstep (on an ankle I’ve previously sprained) and the crack of my left ankle bones are definitely still vivid for me. The extraordinary adventure that followed and the outpouring of compassion and help from so many people are even more vivid. I’ll remember that with awe and deep gratitude for the rest of my days.

As I laid there awaiting rescue and giving my ankle Reiki for an hour and forty minutes, I still managed to take this scenic photo of what I was gazing at that entire time. 

Those hoodoos felt like they were standing over me and guarding me. It gave me the sense of being encircled and held as I laid upon these ancient tribal lands. In my inner prayers, I even called out to the ancestors of this land and my own ancestors for support. I immediately sensed a circle of souls all around me and had a vision of light beings encircled. Almost before I could share that, my mom was sensing that invisible circle as well.

My mom also kindly took the photo of me lying where my misstep happened as we waited for the rescue team to hike their way up to where I was.  My fracture had happened fairly near the peak of the Slot Canyon Trail hike at Tent Rocks National Monument. That location was out of cell service range and my ankle fracture was severe. There was no way I could hike or hobble back through the canyon.

My brother who was hiking a bit ahead of me reached me first after I cried out in anguish, “Ahhhhh… I just broke my ankle!!!” Kneeling over me, he knew the break was beyond the Eagle Scout training of his younger years. We locked eyes, and I said, “Nathan, what are we going to do?”

Thankfully……. the answer to that would unfold with the help of many people we had never met.

Incredulously, the hiker right behind us was a physical therapist who immediately offered aid, did a visual assessment of my injury and helped us strategize. My brother and step dad quickly headed back down the 1.5 mile trail through the canyon to get help while the PT and his wife hiked up to the peak outlook to attempt to reach emergency services by phone.

While I continued holding my ankle and giving it Reiki, my mom sat beside me. Yes, I was verbalizing all kinds of questions without answers and simultaneously apologizing for this happening (because our family has being planning a first time summer Europe trip together for over a year.) The idea of this misstep and ankle break sabotaging that shared experience brought a tear to my eye before any sense of physical pain. Yet, that concern was set aside as our focus returned to the moment and to trusting that everything would be alright. We both managed to remark that at least this had happened in a beautiful place where we were surrounded by rock guardians upon sacred lands. Time was suspended, and we had an interesting sense of calm amidst the emergency. Surrendering to the moment does that…

And….. it was only minutes until the first of thirty to forty other hikers came by us, in what became an ongoing cascade of caring, concerned helpful people. Not one person looked away. Everyone seemed to genuinely, compassionately feel for me. We could feel the very real outpouring of their hearts. Someone in every hiking group reached out to us. One hiker after another stopped to ask, “Do you need help? Is there anything I can do? Do you need food? Do you need water?” Again and again, it was truly amazing. The goodness in humanity was palpable. We were experiencing it.

I now have a visual memory seared in my brain of my mom with her big beautiful blue eyes widening into a divinely doe-eyed gaze and her mouth gaping open in awe as she commented on the outpouring of kindness. She remarked that she hadn’t talked to that many people in a day in a long time… probably since my daughter’s wedding.

Incredulously, that unified feeling of open hearts and bonding with people was similar; yet, these were all people that we had never met.

Gratefully, a married hiking couple came by and the wife offered me pain medication. It was welcomed! It probably saved me a lot of discomfort over the next sixty+ minutes.

And…. thankfully, our fellow hiker the PT had managed to get an emergency call out via satellite on his phone from the trail outlook.

That call had alerted the first responders before my brother and stepdad had gotten down the trail far enough to get service. I’m sure that call shaved a precious extra hour that it might have taken for the rescuers to arrive.

The first rescue team member to reach me was the park ranger that we had chatted with as we arrived to the trail entrance. His name was Scotty. We knew that because my stepdad makes friends with everyone. When the young park ranger got to my side I said, “Scotty, can you beam me up?” He smiled warmly and responded, “I would if I could!”

I soon learned that I was in a location that couldn’t be reached by the helicopter rescue like I’d been hoping for as I’d laid there for almost two hours since that moment I’d stepped down, heard my ankle bones loudly crack and saw my foot skewed at an unnatural angle.

When the other rescuers arrived, it was a combined team of a dozen first responders most from the Cochiti Fire Department. All were there to help transport me, including the Cochiti Fire Chief Andrew Chavez who was the team lead and paramedic. He got my IV set and pain medicine dispensed before they wrapped my dislocated broken ankle with its compound (open) fracture and placed me in the Stokes basket. Luckily, I could not see the small protruding bone on the inner side of my left foot thanks to my thick colorful hiking sock.

Then…. the next significant portion of my ankle adventure began as the rescue team carried me through the Slot Canyon Trail. My family followed right behind us.

My stepdad devotedly took on the role of photo documentarian taking pictures and videos of the impressive coordinations it took to get me out of the canyon.

Throughout the mountain rescue, I regularly thanked all the Cochiti fire crew, medics and rescue volunteers as they navigated the uneven, rocky and often tight slot canyon terrain all while carrying me.

I only cried out a few times for them to watch out for my left foot when it got unintentionally bumped during the two hour rescue hike.

In that well coordinated effort, the rescue team carried me in the basket the 1.5 miles through the slot canyon then transported me on a UTV to an ambulance that was in the trail parking lot before two doctors on a UNM Hospital helicopter Lifeguard crew arrived to do the initial setting of my ankle. 

At the time those doctors arrived, they weren’t able to find a distal pulse in my foot. That was 4 hours and 40 minutes after I had broken my ankle and cause for concern.  Thankfully, once they aligned my foot the full color and pulse returned. Also thankfully, I had been given medication for pain at intervals as the rescuers carefully carried me through the Slot Canyon Trail. Once my foot was initially anatomically aligned (OUCH!!!), the ambulance drove me and the doctors twenty minutes to where the helicopter had landed.

This unplanned adventure gave me my first ride in a helicopter which took me to Albuquerque’s UNM Hospital. Luckily, despite the Ketamine, I managed to look out and see the Rio Grande River below me and groggily appreciate a little bit of the view.

Upon arrival to UNM Hospital (the state’s only Level 1 trauma center as well as academic medical center), my helicopter medical crew and I were warmly greeted. I guess my doctor duo are kind of celebrities at the hospital. The Lifeguard crew is pictured on a calendar in the trauma receiving area. Well, you know what I had to do then…. Of course, I asked to have my photo taken with my “two” helicopter doctors and med-crew. I told them that I would have to show the picture to my retired fire captain husband, my daughter and my paramedic son-in-law (who is a redhead) because several members of the helicopter crew were redheaded guys too including the pilot (who stayed with the copter.) And so, here’s that special photo!

I saw (weeks later) that the Cochiti Fire Department, UNM Lifeguard and UNM Hospital had all shared posts about my “extended mountain rescue operation” on their Facebook pages referring to me privately as “a patient.”

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My ankle adventures continued with more stories of memorable moments with humanity at UNM Hospital and many special medical caregivers. Thankfully, all turned out very well. I am one grateful, lucky lady and proved my strength to myself for sure! I’m also claiming the title of Bionic Woman now. LOL!

My first night at the hospital and the week that followed are a story for another time. I’m grateful for successful surgeries, skilled doctors, incredible nurses, the dedicated medical staff and all those who cared for me, visited me and supported me there at UNM Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My family and close friends were all honestly amazing. This wasn’t the brother and sister ‘siblings trip’ that my brother and I had envisioned, but it certainly was memorable! Thankfully my hubby joined the adventure there and drove me home on Easter Sunday.

Two weeks after the hardware was installed to fully repair the trimalleolar fracture of my ankle in New Mexico, I had my first local orthopedic appointment in Henderson, Nevada on May 1, 2025. My new, highly recommended, orthopedic foot and ankle specialist, Dr. Sibel complimented my UNM surgeon saying that my ankle was realigned well, surgically clean, healing nicely and he had done a good job!!

That first local orthopedic visit was full of good news including my doctor’s approval to go on our family’s long awaited Europe trip this summer!!! I’ll be mostly wheeling around instead of walking, but I’m thrilled that I can go! I am grateful too for the dear friends who will stay at our house while we are traveling. So Happy!

Now, four weeks since that fateful misstep, my ankle is continuing to heal very well, and I’ve been off all forms of pain medication for a full week. Admittedly, I have had markedly less sleep the past week and a half, but the piercing pains are gone and the pins and needles nerve pains have lessened significantly. I’m sure my sleep will improve (even if sleeping with the boot isn’t very comfortable.) Overall, I’ve made great strides (so to speak) and my progress just keeps continuing.

I’m getting around well on a knee scooter loaned to me by a dear friend and have been overwhelmed by the kindness and visits of so many amazing people that I love.

I am truly thankful for a multitude of blessings and for all those who have cared for me, helped, given support, visited, loaned medical equipment, cooked us food, and sent well wishes, gifts, flowers, prayers and healing energy. It has truly enhanced my recovery and my spirits. I love you friends and family.

Those who are reading this, if you are open to it, I would be truly thankful for any ongoing good mojo, healing vibes, loving prayers, Reiki, golden light, restorative energy and clear positive thoughts that you want to send to me. I am healing really well, and I know the love and energy already sent has played a significant part in that.

And now, I am sharing a BIG heartfelt thanks to my hubby who has been the conscientious devoted caregiver that we all knew he would be. 

❤️ We are certainly bonding in new ways through this. 🤪🥰😁😘


This adventure was definitely NOT on my life bingo card. And yet, there are many gifts I can share from it already.  I will in time. I am recognizing what a significant transformation I am experiencing. I am allowing that process to unfold…….

Cusco: A Clearing & Homecoming

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

June 18, 2023 ~ Our Hidden Inca Tour: Peru & Bolivia guided tour began with an early morning bus ride to the airport and our flight from Lima to Cusco.

Our personal experience of the tour began with some very strange happenings. After breakfast, we discovered that we were locked out of our room with all of our luggage still inside. New keys, a visit by the manager and a review by the maintenance person didn’t resolve the problem. We were beginning to get stressed and nervous as our tour group was to be loading onto the bus for the airport in minutes.

Meanwhile, my intestinal tract was feeling off. We didn’t just need our luggage in the room. I needed a bathroom. While Brian learned that our lock mechanism on our room needed a new battery and was resolving that with the hotel staff, I made a dash for the restroom in the hotel lobby.

Brian made it downstairs with our luggage just as everyone began loading onto the bus. I was still in the restroom with the intestinal issues. Then, as I went to leave the bathroom, I couldn’t get the door open. OMG! I was locked in the restroom. After a minute or two of trial and error, I finally got the door open and we sprinted out to the bus.

For the first time in Brian’s life, he was the last one to arrive somewhere. We were the final two people to get on the bus.

Our flight to Cusco and arrival there had more happenings and a sacred experience as well….

We were relieved to be on our flight and excited for the journey ahead.

Brian settled into the flight and took a nap. I had a little more adventurous trip. As I gazed out the window with our plane cascading over the Andes Mountains, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and this deep soulful feeling. Somewhere inside of me I heard the words, “I’m coming home…. I’m coming home…” In that instant, tears began to stream from my eyes.

Not long afterward, I felt a strong surge of energy and an accompanying sense of nausea. Luckily, the woman seated next to me had asked for sick bags for her teenage son who is prone to motion sickness. Thinking that preparedness was a good idea, I had asked for two as well. Thank goodness I did.

For the first time in my life and out of the clear blue nowhere, I got sick into that bag on the airplane. I was so subtle about it that Brian kept on napping and didn’t notice. He only awoke when I attempted to go to the lavatory and was turned back due to turbulence as travelers were asked to take their seats.

My sickness continued as we arrived into Cusco on Day One of our Hidden Inca group tour. Once we landed, I headed straight to the restroom as Brian collected our luggage. A kind former teacher from Canada who was on our trip asked after me and kept an eye out on me in a nurturing motherly way for the rest of the day.

Once on our bus ride, I continued feeling unwell. By that point, my hubby was keeping a keen loving eye on me too. Astonishingly, once again, I grabbed for another sick bag that I had tucked into my purse and emptied my stomach. Then, I learned how much my husband really does love me. He actually offered to hold my bag filled with the contents of my stomach. Yes, he is a former fire captain and advanced EMT, but still…. that is a next level kind of love offering. I thanked him and held it myself.

Once we got to the hotel, I again headed straight for the restroom after receiving our tour headphones and putting my full bag in a trash can. As I sat on the throne, I listened to the opening remarks of our group gathering that was transpiring in the hotel meeting room.

Thankfully, I soon felt well enough, just in time, to join our group for the sacred ceremonial opening of our Peruvian experience. Our shaman Wilco dressed head to toe in Incan priestly regalia spoke of the significance of Cusco. Our tour host and author Brien Foerster (who has been a presenter on the History Channel show “Ancient Aliens”) had told us about Wilco at the orientation and shared that Wilco is a ‘rare individual.’ He is part of an unbroken line of Incan shaman going back to the 15th century before the Spanish conquered Peru and annihilated much of the Incan and pre-Incan culture. Those Incans, who had lived, had quietly kept their wisdom alive for generations. Wilco was the latest in that line of wisdom bearers.


As I took my seat in the semi circle surrounding our tour’s shaman and the special altar he had created, I listened to Wilco speak (via translation by our tour manager Gustavo). Wilco shared with warm reverence and emphasis that “Cusco is the womb of Mother Earth. In Cusco, each of us connects our umbilical cord to the womb of the earth.”

Again, emotion welled up in me. Each of us were asked to share why we were here, in Cusco and on this trip to Peru. With tears streaming down my face, I said, “Cusco has called for a long time, and I feel like I’m coming home.” Wilco looked at me with one of those gazes that feels like someone sees right into your soul. I humbly, tenderly smiled and then listened as each person took their turn sharing.

Incredulously, the only other person to have tears arise was our tour guide Brien Foerster. He had not seemed an especially emotive person, but when he spoke of his desire to right the wrongs done to the Peruvian people by the Spanish his heart was keenly pouring out through his words. As I listened while staring at the back of his head, I took note that only he and I had cried, and he was sitting directly in front of me as my heart resounded in my chest. That connection formed a quiet, simple bond that seemed to continue though much of the Peru experience.

After our sacred opening ceremony, my loving Brian and I went to our hotel room. At first, I immediately shifted into my common resiliency mode and thought I could join the first walking tour of our trip; however, after several minutes, I realized that self care was my priority. Brian offered to stay with me in the hotel room, but I encouraged him to go on the walking tour of Cusco on behalf of both of us.

And so he did, lovingly taking photos to share with me. While he was away, I reached out to a dear friend who was right there messaging with me as I went through a poignant heart opening and energetic clearing experience.

Yes, I seemed to be in the midst of a Montezuma’s revenge sickness, or given that I was in Peru rather than Mexico maybe I should call it an Athaulpa’s revenge experience. In any case… I was genuinely sick, likely from eating a quarter size piece of lettuce with my ceviche at a local coastal restaurant the day before. Still… this truly felt like more than a food issue body clearing.

My keenly intuitive friend validated my sensing and encouraged me to ground myself by putting my bare feet on the floor. As an enormous cascade of tears poured forth, she lovingly held space from her home in Montana as I went through this experience in Cusco, Peru. We both knew this was a potent clearing on many levels. She quietly continued holding space from a distance while I went through my process on my own.

This clearing would open me up to the energies of Peru and its ancient places. I had longed to come to Peru for over two decades. Not only was my prayer answered but the land was obviously preparing me for a more authentic, genuine energetic experience. I slept for fourteen hours in our hotel room.

The next day, I would share with Wilco and Brien individually that it felt as if I had an Ayahuasca experience without taking Ayahuasca. They both understood me. Brien remarked that Cusco calls deeply to some people. Quietly he recognized my calling. By the end of our Peruvian journey, I had more sense of our gentle shaman’s understanding as well.

Qoricancha – photo via Peru Hop

My beloved husband had returned from the walking tour of Cusco as the sun set. Brian shared what he remembered of the heart of Cusco ~ Qoricancha, and the roads through the city as well as the presenters’ discussions of pre-Incan megalithic construction and Incan stone building.

My love warmly shared the photos he took for me and what he had learned from the local anthropologist, our tour guide and more. Though I hadn’t set foot in the heart of Cusco that day, my heart felt full and so very grateful. It was the beginning of a meaningful and long awaited adventure, and I am so grateful for how we shared it together



Here is one resource that discusses Qoricancha:
https://www.peruhop.com/coricancha-sun-temple/

Sacred Summer 2023

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

Summer 2023 has been full of profound experiences and travel adventures for my husband and I.

It’s extraordinary to me to realize that we explored many ancient and sacred sites of Peru and Bolivia including Pachacamac, Sacsayhuaman, Ollantaytambo, Machu Picchu, the Nazca Lines, Puma Punku and Tiwanaku and then journeyed to the ancient puebloan, sacred center of Chaco Canyon in the southwestern U.S. ~ all in the same summer!

I am honestly in awe and filled with deep gratitude.

I am continuing to integrate and absorb these significant experiences as well as enjoying other small travels this summer. Usually, I would have written and shared countless photos of our adventures already. This summer’s travels have felt different for me, and I am truly taking my time with them.

In the coming weeks and possibly months, I will be offering photos and stories of these sacred places and our experiences. I look forward to sharing this with you.🌀

Thank you for joining me here, and thank you for journeying with us.

Grief & Love Persevering

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

How does one return to life after being visited by death?

For me, that answer has been gradually… sometimes messily then at moments abundantly or sporadically but at all times feeling that something has dramatically and inalterably changed about my life. Those who have navigated deep grief ~ over any type of loss ~ understand.

Several times, I had thought to write more fully about my journey and experiences of the past three years, but it seemed daunting, and I thought, “Later.” Now……. feels like later. So… this is my beginning Now to share some of what I could not begin to share until Later. New life is emerging in earnest now and yet it isn’t too late to share about death.

Death and grief, that tandem duo have danced through my life and the lives of those I love over the past three years.

Like everyone’s story in recent years, it began in 2020….. The shock of a global pandemic and the fear-filled collective uncertainty placed us all in the cross hairs of grief. We were shot through the heart with it, all of us. Personally, I was feeling all of that, AND it was augmented by a complete uprooting of my home and life simultaneously. My previous share “Moving Through This” speaks to that.

As I gain a wider perspective now, I see the continual and ongoing persevering that we have all been doing for years… that I have been doing for years. It seems that we have been adapting to and navigating through one traumatic event and pivotal change after another. It has been a gauntlet.

For our family, that year of 2020 concluded with our adult daughter moving out on her own in September and my husband’s mom undergoing open heart surgery in early November just a few weeks before we would complete the building of our new home. During our home building, I was still grieving the loss of the prior beloved house we had built together and just left after 15 years. Now I was also grieving the loss of having my daughter at home, as all empty nest moms know too well.

Life was in flux everywhere it seemed. Still, my resilient self was at the forefront. On November 2nd, I sat in the hospital waiting room as my mother-in-law was in surgery while her son diligently worked on crucial final details of our home build. Days before Thanksgiving 2020 we brought mom home to the rental house we were in, and the day after Thanksgiving we moved her into our newly built home to stay with us until she was recuperated enough to live on her own at her apartment. Home building and coping with an empty nest amidst a global pandemic while helping our mom through her health crisis was A LOT…

We had no idea how much we would get used to “a lot.” And as I offer that, I am certain that ALL OF US can say that!! We had no idea how much we would get used to “a lot.” Everyone I know has been through so very much in recent years. It really has just been “a lot!!!”

Being in our new home was a genuine blessing, but I couldn’t use the common phrase of “settling in.” There wasn’t a settled feeling about life then and wouldn’t be for a long while. Death and grief would knock on our door… again… and again.. and again……………….

Three months and three weeks after moving into our new home, my dad died suddenly, wrenching my world apart on the inside. One year, two months and a day after that, my husband’s father also passed. The impact would be with him everyday. Their nearly daily phone calls had come to an end. Together, my husband and I held continual space for one another’s deep grief.

In between the bookend deaths of our fathers, my last maternal uncle made his transition less than six months after my dad. Two months and a day after my uncle’s passing, his lifelong friend, his brother’s best friend and my much loved honorary uncle died as well. Two months and a day after my honorary uncle passed, his sister-in-law, my lifelong cheerleader and my kindred spirit, honorary aunt also made her transition.

My dad’s sudden death was a seismic, high magnitude earthquake in my life (and in the life of my brother and so many family and friends.) That earthquake was followed by aftershocks galore as it seemed one death after another came. It felt like dad had opened the door and one loved one after another had followed him, until my husband’s dad closed it gently behind him (for a while.)

Grief IS all that love we want to give to the one we’ve lost. Grief IS immense love with no place to go. Where there is grief, there has been great love. Grief, then, truly is love in a different expression.

After all, “It can’t all be sorrow can it?….. What is grief, if not love persevering?”

(Vision from the WandaVision television show.)

I could go on… and on… about the impacts of all these deaths and my journey through the grieving process. If you’re a friend of mine on Facebook, you’ve experienced that of me already. Still, this is not anything to be minimized or glossed over.

Coping with grief, death, profound losses of any kind and dramatic sudden change are all important and significant. Our society as a whole is ill-equipped to do so well, and we are ALL greatly in need of genuine care and support in navigating the grief strewn mine-field of life that we are living through now. We all need compassion and care, for ourselves and others, as we continue to return to life day after day with so much ongoing uncertainty, grief, loss and change. And so…


May we find that what has been heart breaking can be heart opening and connect us with one another anew. My belief is that it truly can. It is our shared humanity in earnest.


In time, I sense that I’ll share more of my personal journey of grief, grace and growing through it all.

For now, I simply wanted to share this glimpse of my own landscape of recent years. There has been so very much that has been meaningful and to be celebrated as well… and that even includes death’s knocks at our door. Through it all, love perseveres.

Sending you so much love.

~ DeAnne

Breathing More Deeply

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

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After two weeks of Brian being retired from firefighting, I’ve realized that I am literally breathing more deeply.

I knew I was always subconsciously aware of what he faced at his job and what could happen. Those possibilities and realities always loomed, quietly ~ pondered in a moment and then tucked away inside me.

Truly, the unknowns of life are present for us all regardless of occupation, but we know that some take on another level of challenge. Our firefighters and other first responders most certainly do.

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I knew I was always aware of this in the back of my mind and heart….

 

I now know that it was far more than I ever knew.

 

This has been part of our relationship since the moment we met, since we joined our lives, since I gave him my heart.  Now my heart beats more calmly.

 

Ahhhhhh……. Another deeper breath…..

 

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Profound divine thanks that my man came through his 32+ years of firefighting as he has and is the man he is.
Thank you
that I am now breathing far easier than I ever knew I could.
Our journey continues with many adventures
and that feeling of TOGETHERness
is BEYOND even what we had known before this.
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Life is good, and I am so truly, deeply Thankful.

Thank you. I love you.

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

Tonight, I’m sending love and gentleness out to this young woman.

In this moment, pictured here at her 27th birthday on June 23, 1997, she knows she’s received a call that same day that did not feel like a gift. Her doctor’s office wanted her to come in for a biopsy. The result would be a cancer diagnosis.

The gifts of all that would be many but would be opened over time, over many years.

The tiny girl next to her would share stories of timeless love and whisper to her mommy that “everything is going to be alright.” That wise little one was right. She was so very right.

21 years later, today, I am honoring the day my womb left my body and opened a space in me that would eventually bring in a depth of compassion and love that I could not have begun to imagine in this moment…. as I opened these birthday gifts.

Today, as I do every year on September 12th, I celebrated being alive and still being here on earth to experience all these many adventures and so SO MUCH LOVE.

To this courageous young woman pictured here, I say, “Thank you. I love you. I love you more than I ever knew then and more with every passing year.”

She and I are together in this moment and we did it. We beat cancer. My horoscope sign may be a double cancer but I’m also the Cancerian Woman who has thrived after having cancer… Ahhh yes…I’ve bumbled and stumbled a bit at times but still thrived. And there is still so much more life yet to live.

I will live it with more love, for myself and for everyone, with every moment. That is the gift I’ve received. I’m thankful I’ve opened it so fully now.

So to you too, you reading this, I say Thank you,
thank you for being here and so SO MUCH LOVE.

❤️
#BeReal #BeYou #BeTheLove #BeLoved

For The Sensitive Souls

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

“This Is For The Sensitive Souls: A Poem For Women” 🌹
~ by Carly Morgan Gross

“This is for the sensitive souls who feel it all.

For the long processors, the bedtime criers, the ones who are blinded by the light.

This is for the women who’ve had to learn the hard way that “no” is an act of respect.

For the stomachs shaken by the sight of anything impure, the hearts that give too much—is there even such a thing?

This is for the wild feelers, the primal goers, and the ones who dream of another planet that feels more like home.

This is for the girls who are shoved into who they aren’t—and for the wisdom inside their bones from the old soul reincarnated in this now.

For the ones who take any chance to be shoeless, braless, and without any worries about what comes next.

The sunshine dwellers, the earth children, the ones who have said yes to forgiveness and being held by the divine first.

This is for the women who not only run with the wolves, but bring their medicine into a society that thinks magic is just a trick.

For the ones who know there is more to life than the 9-to-5 grind and who’ll do anything to bring their art forward and get their message out for others to heal.

For the alchemists, the witches, the medicine mamas—the women who understand and overstep the matrix of fear.

This is for the women who’ve turned their “why me?” into an “it’s me” and became their own guru and source of schooling from beyond.

For the ones excited by ritual, devotion, and prayer and deflected by gossipers, gogogo’ers, and systems that forget to account for the soul’s need.

For the ones who will hold you while you’re hurting, nourish you with touch and truth while you’re processing, and create space for you to exist just as you are.

The ones who are unconditionally loving, kind, and always there—even just energetically holding your heart.

This is for the women who, at times, feel unsafe in their physical form.

For the bodies that have crashed and burned.

For the beings that have been birthed brand new.

This is for the goddesses who don’t know they are goddesses yet.

This is for the empathic angels, the introverted intuitives, and the ones who wear others’ feelings by accident on their sleeves.

For the ones who get glimpses, more and more each day, of what it is to create heaven on earth by embodying the light.

This is for the women who were told that they were too much, too sensitive, too slutty, too pretty, too feminine.

For the women who challenge their fears, follow their dreams, transcend their triggers, accept their paths, and do the work.

For the ones who crave climbing every mountain top and bathing in every rushing river.

For the ones who don’t give up and are always diving deeper within.

You are not alone.

Whatever you do, don’t hide.

Show your face. Show your story. Show your progress. Show your vulnerability.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

Your medicine is like drops of raw, wildflower honey over a turmeric latte—and it’s too sweet not to share.

Your truth is enough.

The voice of your heart will emerge.

Stand up for something—anything, everything—you feel to be true.

They are the crazy ones, and you are going sane—this is your cue.

Closer to your inner being, you’ve found home.

And there is a web connecting you to me, and me to her, and her to the goddess in us all.

You are safe. You are held.

And we’re ready for you to proudly invoke the power that lies within.

Your purpose is to listen—deeply, intensively—and to use your body as a guide.

She is on your side.”

~ Carly Morgan Gross

Poem Source: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/11/this-is-for-the-sensitive-souls-a-poem-for-women/

photograph: “White Rose & So Much Love” 10-4-17, Shrine of the Holy Redeemer in Las Vegas, NV ~ DeAnne Wolfgram

With chills, I sat alone praying and anchoring love at the church (still surrounded in yellow police tape) right beside the site of the Vegas 10-1-17 tragedy.

Clearing & Healing, Chaos & Creativity

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment
The clearing away of the old to make way for the new has definitely been happening for me……on both the home and heart front…. (amidst all that is happening in our world.)

Last week, I traversed a powerhouse series of emotional healing experiences. Talk about doing some deep inner healing and clearing work, lifetimes worth in fact. Seriously, lifetimes worth.

I’m honestly still assimilating it all.   I could feel deep deep layers moving through me and knew to seek out some assistance. That led to a profound bodywork session and a cascade of multilayered connections, emotional clearings and greater awareness for me ~ before, during and after that session.. Those insights and that energy are still assimilating… My soul definitely took the lead to show me what I needed.  There was so much that I’d been juggling for so very long. For the first time in my life, I allowed it to fully drop… I let go…. Inner constriction from trying to protect loved ones had even become an unknown hernia in my body. During my healing session, I suddenly felt as if I’d swallowed a heavy rock. The pain in my upper abdomen was suddenly acute. When that happened, my modern-day shaman soul friends and energy-healing colleagues focused in on that area.  They physically and energetically helped release the energy in my body as I emotionally and physically surrendered it.  Together, we actually unraveled and shifted the hernia within the final minutes of my hour session. That part was a briefly, acutely painful process but incredibly purposeful. My body is without any pain in that area, and now my body is starting to give me a knowing little ‘tell’ right there whenever I begin to take on the emotional energy of someone else.  I’ll definitely continue being aware and attuned to this. So yeah, last week had some very….very…deep healing and clearing.

This week provided another type of clearing process for me to move through.  My “cellular” phone and computer both began having issues. I had to shift things around and eventually seek out tech support. My iCloud back ups weren’t working properly. My phone was powering off randomly, and both devices were completely full of photos. I had to go through a clearing and ordering process to get them both working properly again. Now, after several days of archiving thousands of photos and spontaneously organizing numerous documents  from years of writing, I can honestly see the benefits of why my mobile phone went wonky and my computer hard drive began flashing me incessant “full” signs… Those tech glitches were practical and energetic prompts for me to have to go through this other clearing, organizing and honing process on a practical and creative front.

Both me and my creative tools have needed some clearing and reorganizing in this first month of this new year. The fine tuning continues there. (wink, wink)

I recognize that this recent creative reorganization process has allowed me to see all the photographic and written material that I’d already created in recent years, along with all the relationships and experiences I am blessed to have co-created.

It’s all together been one of those ‘life reviews’ while living.  Now, I have an affirming sense of “Yes…I’ve been doing THIS all along…..” I have been on my own unique path and building (inner and outer) foundations for what is to come…even when I wasn’t feeling certain that I was doing anything.

AHhhhhhh…. CHAOS is part of the CREATIVE process
….and as we breathe through those moments, clear the heaviness, do our inner work, practice trust, believe in our process, continue creating and keep working at it, we do come into the eventual streamlining times of realizations arising and creations made manifest..
Chaos & Creativity….. Clearing the old and Making way for the new….This is certainly a year for all of these energies….In my own little ah-ha moment here, I feel as if I am having a tiny validating peak behind creation’s current for the moment. Perspective on my own lil’ life is giving me a renewed faith in the entire process of life. Here’s to THAT!!

BE YOU. BE RAW. BE REAL. BE ALIVE. BE THE LOVE

DeAnne WolfgramLeave a comment

There has always been something tantalizingly soul affirming when I experience a beautiful real or raw moment expressed by someone who has often been emotionally constricted, vulnerably challenged or afraid to be seen as the depth that they are….

I came into this world attuned to this and sweetly aware to invite these moments of aliveness and truth out in others.

There’s no more fulfilling YES To LIFE moment than that. I’m grateful to have shared these soul glimpse moments, from my grandfather as a toddler, to parents, uncles and family members, to dear friends, to so many other precious children, men and women whom I have known.

BE YOU. BE RAW. BE REAL. BE ALIVE. BE THE LOVE that you uniquely are and ENLIVEN THIS WORLD!!!

I see you. I feel you, and it IS tantalizingly soul affirming….for us ALL. BE YOU.
xoxo ~ Love you, DeAnne

PS: This photograph is of the soulful little person I was with my beloved Uncle Jim in 1971. I feel blessed to have experienced special moments with each of my family members, friends and blessed souls who have crossed my path in life for a moment or much longer. Life is a magical journey. Let’s embrace it and BE THE LOVE.

Today, I honor it all

DeAnne Wolfgram4 Comments

 

Today I honor a very personal anniversary, the 19th one in fact.   This special day marks nineteen years since passing through the portal of having cancer in my womb and enduring a sorrowful give-away at the age of 27.

What a passage it was, and continued to be, long after that fateful day nineteen years ago.  I still remember it vividly. I’m certain I always will.

What I know now is that I am a wiser woman for having had to give my womb away at such a tender age and live without the fulfillment of my dream of a second child. I am wiser for the courage it called forth in me and for the compassion it drove home in my core. It IS indeed our wounds that allow the light in and allow it in ways that we would never have dreamed of….

I may not have given birth to another child, but I did give rebirth then and many times since to this woman that lives in my body. She knows a way of loving now that is far more expansive than any body’s womb could ever have held. That give-away led to a gift that I continually give and receive now, through my way of being in life and through what I am able to give life to in other ways.

So today, for all that it carries in meaning for me, I honor it.
I light this candle and I honor it.

I honor the wisps of grief and tenderness that remain, even after nearly two decades.
I honor the dreams and the unanswered prayers.  I honor the prayers that came to be and the little life that did not.

I honor BEING alive myself, living the blessed life that I have.

I honor my husband and daughter who’ve been with me through that and much more.
I honor my family and friends who encircled me then and now.
I honor those with whom I’ve walked the path of life, whether it has been for a few moments or for many years.

I honor all the myriad of experiences, feelings, realizations, lessons and evolutions that have been lived these past nineteen of my forty-six years of this life.

I honor my own process of living, now more than ever before, and I honor the woman that I Am with all my scars, flaws, frailties, insecurities, eccentricities and uncertainties that are partnered with my continual courage, compassion, creativity, myriad talents, softness, strength, intelligence, intuition, flowing and deepening knowing.

I honor all that I continue to discover and to offer.
I honor life lived authentically and lovingly.

Today, I honor it all.